Elsie, the thing I found most helpful when trying to figure out what on earth was going on with my 2E child was reading the books:

"Disorganised Children: A guide for parents and proffessionals" http://www.amazon.co.uk/Disorganised-Children-Guide-Parents-Professionals/dp/1843101483

And also the Misdiagnosis and Dual diagnosis book. The first book was the most useful as it was fully of issues that my DD clearly did NOT have and gave me some confidence in myself, that no, I did NOT imagine my child had every condition I read about. Conversely the details provided about a number of issues which she at least leans towards provided information that I had not read previously (which turned out to be major clues) and also came together as a pattern. When I latter talked to a local psychologist who is a specialist in girls with Aspergers and mentioned to her about the chapters I HAD marked in this book as "maybe an issue", as compared to those I had not, the expert response was "Well those are ALL co-morbidities with ASD, or they are what an OT might call the aspects of ASD that they deal with, everything you have identified I expect to see in, or am not surprised to see, in a child with Aspergers. You aren't seeing xyz different conditions, you are seeing multiple aspects of a global neurological difference".

I guess how it seemed to me was that with a very high functioning girl on the spectrum that each professional came in and saw a slightly odd or borderline presentation of whatever they most commonly looked for. Very few were looking as globally as I was, and there are no girls experts in my own city. Without the research I did myself I would not have ended up figuring out what it all meant...

My point being that with very bright children who clearly do have problems but have different presentations with different people/environments or have atypical presentations of their issues YOU will be the one that has to figure out which aspects are "real" (not transitory behaviour like jumping on and licking couches because it's been encouraged by a third party), which are most important and what forms a pattern that makes sense. And then maybe try to find one (or more) experts you trust to actually know whether you are or are not on the right track there.