Well that didn't take long. One week of homeschool down and I feel like I have already smothered my DS's love of learning. I feel drained/exhausted/emotionally spent. I really don't know how to tackle this and I want so badly to instill in DS a love of learning, a good work ethic, and a good attitude, but I feel like a failure.
The problem: DS loves "studying" as long as it is not me/anyone else telling him what to do. He reads voraciously, as long as it is not a book I asked him to read. (Did that for the first time last week, and it ended with him saying he hates reading - which is so obviously not true.) He adds math into his play, but when I ask him to do our math program with me, it is all fits, complaints for at least 1-2 hours. When I finally get him to sit still and concentrate, BAM, he knocks it out in 20 minutes. I think it has nothing to do with the level that I am asking him to do, and IF he concentrates/comes at it with a good attitude, I KNOW he can do it in a reasonable time (even for a 5yo), so I don't think that it has to do with his attention span/or his ability level. This week he has constantly been in a bad mood, complaining about how adults don't understand their children, and are always telling them what to do.
I know he needs to start learning structure, and he needs to learn that he isn't the leader (which he really struggles with).
On top of all that I think another problem he is facing is serious disillusionment. Part of me thinks(yes, I have asked him) that his vision for homeschooling is much more elaborate and wonderful than the reality. He envisions a homeschool group that will come to our house daily, and will daily be doing all sorts of amazing experiments and that all the kids will be a little Secret Science Alliance like band. The reality in our extremely rural area right now, is that we are lucky to get together with our HS group once a month during the regular school year. And the reality is that I don't have the resources or stamina to keep up with all his ideas/dreams. Take for instance, last night. He decided he wanted to make a catapult. He got in his mind the toys that he could convert into the basic form, taped stuff together (his first mistake :), tried to use his slinky for a spring, and well you know - it didn't work. He gets incredibly mad at himself, calling himself stupid, and going off his rocker. I am calmly trying to explain, that he just doesn't have the right parts to make one available right now. We could go to a hardware store and get them - but in his mind, he ought to be able to make one out of what he has, if only he were smart enough. I feel terrible - like I can't really give him the experiences that he needs, but I also know that somehow, I need to tame his expectations without squashing his soul.
Oh, and because of all the tantrums about "doing school" - what should be a 1-2 hour school day, ends up taking 4-5 hours. I am calmly trying to just stand my ground, there is no yelling, but my strings are getting short, and I don't know if it really the best thing to do. Do I just wait it out, and after a few weeks of this, he will finally realize that if he just does what I ask, he can get on with playing faster....
HELP!
