Wish you were on the same coast, sounds like our 7 yo's would be great pals! Our school tried to push the ADHD/ODD thing, too, around the same age. If you can, get a neuropsych evaluation done. Ours not only confirmed that he was frustrated due to his giftedness level, but spotted Asperger's as well. Knowing helped us guide him better re: dealing with social issues, and got the school cooperating with us better. Good luck!