somewhereonearth-- I think that what I'm suggesting isn't that it's always TRUE...
but, as geofizz notes as well--
nothing will be improved if you honestly believe your situation to be inherently and irretrievably "adversarial" with your child's school-- regardless of whether or not it seems true.
Mostly, a lack of cooperation indicates ignorance, not malice. (repeat internally as needed... LOL-- as MoN reports, this kind of thing DOES get results. They are always better than they would have been if you assume that interactions will be hostile... they just may not be what you'd like.)
Also-- know what your personal Rubicon is. Do not share that information with anyone outside of your family (and advocate/legal representative)-- but know what that is, and what plan B looks like. Be willing and able to walk away from plan A if/when it happens.
