I am still really interested in any practical things people have done with their kids to help strengthen these skills!
Daily responsibilities which are tied to some externally imposed scaffold.
1. Remind-remind-remind about those responsibilities until they become habit.
2. Praise the habit once established. No praise for inattentive/incomplete work, however-- this often needs to be a slow transition. Emphasize natural consequences in corrections, wherever possible. ("Oh, look-- the dog is OUT OF WATER. I wonder who forgot to refill the bowl this morning...")
3. Praise-- particularly-- attention to detail in those habits (so for example, noticing that sweeping wasn't enough since the floor was so dirty it needed mopping).
4. Praise diligence and adherence to routine even when NOT reminded, and especially when something more appealing/engaging could have been selected as an alternative. "I'm really proud of you for your choice to clean the hamster cage this morning instead of texting with your friends."
5. Emphasize the qualities that your child values (not the ones that you value)-- "You are becoming so much more mature. I can tell because _________ (agreed-upon task completion) is happening each day without reminders from anyone!"
Substitute whatever aspect of this skill set is most desirable to your child in particular there-- helpful, conscientious, diligent, responsible, grown-up, self-reliant, etc.
6. Praise your child for NOTICING when scut-work needs doing. This is attention to detail that requires specific reinforcement for some children. I still praise DD14 for cleaning up her own bathroom or bedroom, or initiating other household tasks without prompting.
Last edited by HowlerKarma; 06/20/13 09:35 AM. Reason: clarification
