Lori, your description of your DH is very much the way that DD and I both tend to be:
People like him because they think he is just like them and he is able to get information from them that other people can't get and he knows how to best use that information to come up with really good ideas and then he has the ability to sell those ideas to his supervisor. He is a problem solver and he can work under pressure, even with pain.
I've been 'used' by every organization that I've ever been associated with because of those characteristics. I'm a natural mother confessor (so to speak) so I'm always the last person to handle an interviewing candidate-- when they are tired and then the guard comes down, see... I just feed them line and let the true human trolls reveal themselves as they relax enough to talk ever-more freely to me. I feel safe and unintimidating, I guess.
I'm also usually the "handler" for very difficult people. It's stressful and I don't like it, but I seem to be better at it than most people. I don't respond emotionally in general terms-- or at least I don't actually ACT on those responses precipitously.
My DD is the same way.
