Michaela, I don't have personal experience with ASD in our family, but with other differences. My first thought when I read your post is that it's not been that long since your ds received his diagnosis - you've had suspicions for awhile but if I remember correctly, the actual diagnosis just came this spring. Maybe your dh needs a little more time to become comfortable with having the diagnosis before he'll be ready to really know what and how he wants to share with the rest of your family. I think DeeDee's suggestions are spot-on - it doesn't need to be an all-at-once reveal, and who needs to know is going to change as time goes by.
I also wanted to let you know that we didn't tell our family about our ds' challenge at first, but we weren't purposely not telling. We happened to mention it in a response to a question from a relative at some point in time and the most wonderful thing happened... We found out ds has a cousin with the very same challenge! I can't tell you what a relief it was for our ds to find out that he wasn't the only kid in the family with his set of challenges -up until that time he had been feeling very very different and possibly felt that his challenges were really somehow "his fault". We don't live anywhere near his cousin and we rarely see them, but just knowing helped my ds in such a huge way. Your ds will of course have you and your dh to help him understand how ASD impacts him, but you might find you're not the only family members, and you might find some understanding.
Best wishes,
polarbear
