However it is unrealistic to imply that time and good intentions will solve all of these problems. Maybe its easier if you have a neurotypical, optimally gifted kid... but if your kid is either 2e or PG, or both, I think your are likely to hit insurmountable roadblocks in many school systems.
Whether these problems can be solved really depends on where you are and who's running things in your particular district and school, as well as how well-trained and flexible the teachers are. And for us it has also depended on what kind of strategic or legal help is at hand.
I would definitely never say that all problems of this kind can be solved (and I know full well what the roadblocks look and feel like); just that we've seen enormous progress in advocating for our fairly extreme 2E kid in a local public school.
I also think there is a tendency to panicked perfectionism among parents these days (myself absolutely included). My parents sent me to public school, I believe they noticed that it was generally a very poor fit, but I had a great teacher who differentiated where she could and my parents saw no need (or even possibility) to make school fit my needs any better than it did. Now our expectations are much higher, and that's very good for our kids-- it's just not surprising that the system our parents' generation left us isn't yet equipped for that.
DeeDee
