Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What should we do? HELP! (sorry so long)

Okay. Since a couple of other people mentioned homeschooling, I'll post my thoughts here instead of as a PM.

First, I think that one of the wonderful things about homeschooling a gifted child is about what DOESN'T happen. They don't have to sit in their seat for hours each day doing boring, repetitive, dumbed-down worked. They don't have to allow themselves to be repeatedly patronized by adults who have no idea how sophisticated their intellect is. They don't have to put up with receiving empty rewards for doing busy work. They don't have to put off asking their many questions. They don't have to stop reading because the period is over. They don't have to read Magic Tree House books when they want to read The Lightening Thief just because the teacher said they had to stay on grade level. They don't get bullied or pick on because they are different.

So even if you unschool the early years, and provide essentially no structure or challenge, at the very least, they will avoid a lot that is unpleasant and potentially damaging. And I think most HG+ kids will find their way to filling their time with lots of wonderful, enriching activities. Many people feel intimated by the thought of having to re-create school at home, but really it is a total paradigm shift.

We didn't quite unschool the early years, but we very nearly did. And I will just say that in spite of the bare minimum of structured instruction through about grade 3, my daughter met or exceeded DYS cuts for the EXPLORE for every subject except for math. Even her math score was "gifted." I just put that right up front, because I don't think that more free time for these kids necessarily affects their achievement. In fact, my daughter got a perfect score for English on the EXPLORE. With almost no formal grammar or spelling instruction. Why? Because she reads.all.the.time.

My personal belief is that it makes sense to limit the more enticing uses of screens and media if your homeschool has less structure. We have done so, and here are some of the things my kids do and have done with their unstructured time:

Program a video game
Draw your own animated movie
Read
Listen to audio books
Write a novel (or at least the first ten pages of several different ones!)
Read
Play an imaginary game
Play chess against the computer
Read
Bake cupcakes
Build amazingly creative deep sea creatures out of Legos
Read

All that said, I am not now nor ever have been a die-hard unschooler. My kids always did some structured stuff, but in the early years,(through about 3rd grade) it could be as little as 20 minutes a day, three or four days per week. We did math online with Dreambox. My son used Reading Eggs for reading.

We also did a lot of projects, which I have detailed elsewhere, but will mention again here. We raised monarch caterpillars; we baked "hardtack;" we made a Sumerian feast; we brewed our own mead; we mummified a chicken; we captured live yeast to make bread; we made edible models of atoms, and the earth; we wrote in cuneiform on "stone" (play dough) tablets; we celebrated Chinese New Year.

We also took (and take) trips: to Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Yorktown; to Valley Forge; to go fossil hunting for megalodon teeth; to Washington DC to see the Terra Cotta Warriors; to NYC to go the American Museum of Natural History, to see plays, and to see the Pompeii exhibit. And even to Mexico to Chichin Itza and other Mayan ruins, and to London to stand on Tower Green where Anne Boleyn was beheaded. (Off season rates because we weren't on a school schedule!) Yes, both of my children really enjoy gore.

Now that they are older (8 and 10), we do have more structure. I do feel that, at this stage, it is important that they be challenged, that they learn what it is like to apply themselves, and persist through something that doesn't come easily. My 8 year old is completing 4th grade math through EPGY. My daughter right now is taking a cryptography class through Center for Talented Youth. She also takes both grammar and literature through onlineG3. She LOVES all of her classes, is extremely self-motivated, and is being challenged both in terms of time management, and in terms of ideas and learning. She also still has tons of time to read for pleasure. I am hoping that my son will take a mythology class from Athena's Advanced Academy next year, and my daughter will begin a writing class also through CTY.

The onlineG3, Athena's, and EPGY classes are not expensive. CTY classes are, but we as a family have determined that it is worth it to us to take some classes through them. (For one thing, they are an accredited middle school, so she will have somewhat of a transcript if and when we apply to high school.)

When you homeschool, there is no negotiating with the school, no trying to find the "least worst" solution, no time wasted coercing a bright child to do what is boring or meaningless. My kids play instruments, compete in fencing and chess tournaments, put on plays with their friends, and sing in choirs.

I am extremely lucky, in that there is a large community of gifted homeschoolers here, and my kids attend a learning center two days per week where they get to be with friends and engage in group projects that facilitate social learning. (And I get a break.)I honestly don't know if I would enjoy homeschooling as much or feel as good about it if both my children and myself didn't have very rich social lives. Not every community offers this.

In addition, I work part-time, and am able to set my own schedule. Again, not a luxury that is open to all. I think it would be very difficult but not impossible to homeschool if both parents are working full-time. If you could find another compatible family to trade off with, or hire a tutor, or even leave the child alone, depending on their age, and their ability to get school work done in the absence of a parent, you might be able to cobble something together. Certainly, you don't need to do direct instruction for more than a couple of hours a day. If you think about it, the amount of time that kids spend in school actually doing school is maybe two hours, when you subtract time waiting for other kids to stop talking, or catch up, time spent lining up, doing silly work to fill time, etc.

I hope this is helpful!