Another perspective: we left a music class for 4-5 year olds that DS had loved because two musically gifted kids entered his class as 2.5 year olds. When their parents could get them to fully participate, yeah, I could see why they wanted to be there instead of the 2-3 class. However, these kids were 2, and very much 2 in following directions, gross motor skills, and paying attention skills.
For a lot of these classes, there's more to the class than the advertised content. These secondary skills don't always develop alongside the development of the talents. Often these have consequences for the other kids in the class. I was really sympathetic to their situation, but they were not only disruptive to the class, but my son didn't get the same peer-to-peer interaction that we were seeking in through the class experience.
Instead, we've aimed for classes where my kids are at the lower end of the age range or are targetted for a very broad range of kids or are leveled (like swim lessons). This stuff gets easier as the kids get a bit older.
I was that librarian today and it was hard. I have two gifted children and if someone tells me their child is gifted, I believe them.
However, today after I had started my 30 minute story time for 3.5-5 year olds a mother walked her 2 year old in, plunked her down and left.
It left me with a room of 3.5-5 year olds who knew the rules and what to expect plus a 2 year old who didn't know the rules, missed her mother, and was distracting to the other children. No doubt this child has a laundry list of wonderful qualities but I had to stop the story time for her and make the other children wait while I found her mother because she just wasn't capable of sitting and listening.
I think it is fair to ask if your child can try something that they are not in the age range for but it is not fair to lie or cheat your way in. It is also unfair to ask an activity leader to break the rules because the rules are there for a reason. A rule broken for one becomes a useless rule, others will cite the time that they let XYZ child in and why did they get better treatment? It's a slippery slope.
I've been on both sides. I have had the child who needed more, I just found that the best way to get that more was to either ask or find it somewhere else if I was told no. Raising a gifted child is not easy and finding the right resources can be difficult. We did story time occasionally and dd always enjoyed it but it wasn't until dd got into Montessori that her input needs were met on a regular basis. We muddled through a lot until she went to school.
I guess my point is...we can't expect others to bend to meet our childrens needs. If they will, great. If they can't, seek other experiences.
