ask if he minds if you bring a neutral third party, and record it. I don't think you are being paranoid here. I think they are looking for a way to appease/quiet you.
I don't think you need to ask if you can bring someone else. And it doesn't need to be a neutral third party. I think it would be great if it's someone in a suit who takes notes, and just introduce them by name and say he/she will be helping you take notes.
I agree the principal is trying to avoid putting your conversation in writing. But unless you have a reason to think he or she is underhanded, I wouldn't automatically assume that. It sounds like he took care of the para problem, for instance.
I think it sounds like you're wonderfully prepared and have logical, legal arguments to back your requests. Good luck to you!
