You make yourself and your DS's needs very clear in your emails and I wouldn't stop addressing concerns and reminders in emails simply because you're asked not to. You have every right. You're doing a great job. I like the idea of having someone with you to take notes during the meeting. And perhaps give yourself a "script" to go in with and try not to let them veer you from it. What you're asking for is not unreasonable and it's their responsibility to provide it.
Please let us know how it went...
