Along those lines, and in response to the original intent of the thread...
we have a rule with our DD about paying attention which is about
respect.It's just plain rude and arrogant to refuse to pay attention and participate in class when that is a general expectation.
I really don't care WHAT my daughter's reason is (aside from medical issues, obviously); if she is bored because the placement or content is vastly inappropriate, then that is not a job for HER to be addressing-- it's a matter for the adults in her life to figure out. She has input into those decisions, certainly-- but blatant incivility and disrespect are just plain rude.
Why is it "rude?" Well, primarily because if she chooses to evaluate what is happening around her and respond by tuning out and 'doing her own thing' when she is supposed to be paying attention and participating alongside peers... she is expressing a particular opinion in fairly public, though passive-aggressive fashion. She is saying; "You bore me. I know all of what you plan to say, and I know it so well that you couldn't possibly teach me anything on this subject. Oh, it's fine for all of THEM. But I'm special and the rules don't apply to me. So I will ignore you."
I think that most of us can agree that this is a fairly arrogant and presumptuous stance, even if it turns out that she DOES know most (all?) of what winds up being presented to her. It is preemptively dismissive of an adult authority figure--a person who has taken the time to prepare to instruct a group of which she is part.
Why are we okay with other adults being punitive about this kind of thing?
Because she has no organic REASON to have difficulty participating other than being somewhat bored and preferring to make her own decisions about what is entertaining/important to her. Well, life is quite harsh for people who come across as rude to others.
I think that (and this gets into general parenting philosophy here, so I don't expect everyone to agree with me) children should NOT be allowed to flout authority without there being very good reasons related to health and safety. We all have to obey rules and laws which we, as individuals, could well ignore or break without any consequences to others. But anarchy is not the answer, and it's arrogant to presume that only
I should be permitted to determine which laws I should have to follow... and as soon as everyone is permitted to do so, poor judgment enters the fray. Anarchy. Clearly.
In my mind, school
is in part about teaching children about the social contract as well as about academic disciplines and skills.
Again, I don't expect that everyone will agree with me there. It's merely my own opinion; but we've done a lot to teach our DD that she should NOT expect 'special' treatment other than that which her own behavior and performance garners her-- in any respect, that is. If she is disrespectful, she WILL make a poor impression, and it naturally follows that she will lose any grace/goodwill that might otherwise have been in the offing.
Pretty critical life lesson, honestly.
