Indepedent of other factors, I'd imagine many gifted kids just aren't sheep. We didn't have a special ed school, but DS had all the behaviors that you mentioned in pre-school. I think they'll happen in any context when the kid is wired that way. Biggest things we looked for were if the school was tolerant and supportive of his unique ways. Sometimes he would sit with the group, follow directions, etc. when he didn't, as long as he was safe they allowed him to drift and used gentle redirection.
I think I may have to stress to the school that our main reason why we are putting him in (after fighting a lot to even get the spot) is to learn social interaction. To not shy away from the kids when there are too many ... and to be able to join in rather than do everything else to be able to stay away from them. He has this huge drive to be WITH kids, yet he only really needs to be next to them. Unless they are completely into what he's doing and he can explain it to them and have them follow him, he has zero interest in what the other kids are doing.
There is another class that's a morning class at another school in our district where our friends' daughter goes and as much as at first I did NOT want them together for many reasons, now I'm wondering if DS being in the class with his "friend" would help him learn the rules and learn some following? She has been in that class for about 6 months so has the ins and outs down pretty well.
