I distinctly remember faking to be asleep on the couch at bedtime sometimes when I was little so my father would carry me upstairs. He probably knew I was faking but I rarely if ever had "alone time" with him so I suppose I admit, I manipulated the whole thing, and he indulged.
LOL. The three of us often snuggle together in my bed at night to watch a movie. When the movie is over and it's time for DD to go to bed, she'll pretend to be asleep. I'll pretend she's a little baby and I don't want to wake her, then handle her in ways guaranteed to wake the dead (sling her over my shoulder fireman's style, etc.), and dump her rudely into bed. She keeps her eyes closed the whole time, and fails to fully suppress her grin.
I was getting more desparate with the dashing toward the street thing with DD (and she was a strong and successful wiggler-awayer) and did the trying-to-scare her with being little and getting squished, and a neighbor with 4 grown girls told me he really disapproved,that every child would learn this when they were ready. Then I felt super guilty like I had now scarred her for life. Be calm and it not might sink in, be too dramatic you scar them or they just get into the drama...I still think that creating situations where they feel freedom but they are secretly safe is a good way to go.
It depends on the child's personality. It's certainly possible that a child will be scarred by this information, and it's up to you to figure out if that's a potential problem or not. I would expect that to be a small minority, though. The world is a scary place for little ones, and if they're noticing things to be afraid of and nobody is talking about them, that can lead to some serious anxiety problems.
We explained to DD why it was important to hold our hands... drivers can't see her, she's not fully aware of her surroundings, etc. And then we explained why holding our hands mattered... drivers can see us, we're always scanning for potential dangers, and by keeping contact we can stop her or pull her along depending on the situation.
And here's why this is a really good conversation to have... she's learning a lot more than just parking lot behavior here. There's an underlying subtext in this conversation, in which she learns that her parents are smart, they're anticipating dangers, and she can trust us to keep her safe. So although the conversation starts out quite alarming, the end result is quite comforting. Rather than scarring, the conversation promotes a sense of security.
Another benefit: voluntary compliance. Then you don't have to worry about them feeling free and being secretly safe. It still feels like freedom if holding hands was her choice.
