...I guess that I am getting more at this: how do some people let it roll off their backs and feel okay about it? How do you let it not eat you up when, as Michaela said, our family is still probably dealing with the effects of what happened so long ago? It isn't just us, either. It is her. I want something different to have happened for her and her immediate family in that time.
I've wondered this same thing. I've never been good at letting things go or "getting over it." How do people do it? One of my grandmothers was trapped in an extremely difficult and tragic life. I wish I could change how her life was; I wish I could have known her. Things like this seem to bother me more than others around me.
I think talking about it is a good place to start, and sometimes when I'm really stuck, I've written a letter to the person with everything I wish had been different. Even though it never gets to the other person, putting what I feel into words has helped me to process some difficult stuff. I also just read an article I found helpful for the times that others are ready to move on and I'm not... I can definitely relate to the funnel.
http://www.shulamit.info/funnel.htm
