I'm kinda with JonLaw... letting go is overrated.
Somebody's gotta save the world, and those are the reasons why. I hang on to a fair bit of frustration over family histories on both sides (mine and DH's). I know we're still dealing with the effects of stuff. I also have a little (or maybe a lot) of extra respect for certain family members from knowing just how much they helped to turn around a bad story from their parents generation to their children's (mine).
Studying family history, and history in general, is partly about finally getting to "grok" the varieties of human experience, from the worst to the best. It's worth feeling those feelings. It's a kind of learning. Words can't describe how bad things can get, only that "click" when you identify with someone who isn't you. I almost feel dirty trying to talk about the dark side of human history because it is just so hard to discuss that words seem to cheapen it. You gotta just feel it.
But maybe that doesn't help you very much when it's acutely bugging you!
-Mich.
