I guess that I am just getting the impression from my mother, who has researched her family's genealogy extensively, and others with whom I have spoken who also are into genealogy, that they are more able to just let it roll off their backs and able to accept that this is just the way things were. People's children died, people were killed through ignorance, it's just how it was. I get the impression that it doesn't bother them so much.
I want to go back in time and talk her family into doing something different, help her cope with grief in a manner that didn't kill her... I feel this connection to someone I never would have known even if this hadn't happened b/c we are separated in time by a lot even if she had lived a full life.
I guess that I am getting more at this: how do some people let it roll off their backs and feel okay about it? How do you let it not eat you up when, as Michaela said, our family is still probably dealing with the effects of what happened so long ago? It isn't just us, either. It is her. I want something different to have happened for her and her immediate family in that time.
