you might begin a subtle campaign of making him more a part of the morning drama so he is aware of what your son is going through.
I agree that this is a key step for Moms. I was guilty of 'protecting' my DH from 'the worst of it' and then blaming him for being so 'clueless.' As things got bad enough, I started the subtle campaign and got great results. A few playdates with 'regular' kids is a great way to get dads asking "Is there something wrong with X's friend?" Making Dad do the dirty deed of school drop off is a great way to get past the 'logic' and open up the feelings.
I would go so far as to say that there is only a finite amount of feeling associated with any situation. The more difficult feelings I 'volunteer' to feel and express, the less bothered my DH or DS are by any particular situation. When I start saying, 'Oh, it'll be fine soon.' that's when I get DH or DS expressing their concern. It is OK to decide if expressing feeling intensely is the best way to get to the desired result. A little playacting is allowed to break old habits that might be even less authentic than the playacting.
Best Wishes,
Grinity
