Here's a list of some facts about perfectionism I put together some time ago:

Causes and signs of perfectionism

Perfectionism in gifted children may be caused by factors including a desire to please others, easy successes at a young age followed by more difficult challenges later, and difficulties in setting realistic goals (NAGC).

Symptoms of perfectionism include:

* Self-imposed performance standards that are rigid and impossibly high (Pacht, 1984)
* Motivation by fear of failure, rather than pursuit of success (Pacht, 1984)
* Measurement of self-worth wholly in terms of productivity and achievement (Pacht, 1984)
* All-or-nothing self-evaluations (Pacht, 1984)
* Difficulty in taking credit or pleasure from achievements, as success is perceived to be expected (Pacht, 1984)
* Procrastination in starting and completing work that will be judged, or restarting work often (Pacht, 1984)

Helping gifted perfectionists

The following measures have been suggested as helpful for perfectionists:

* Give permission to make mistakes. (McIntyre, 1989)
* Use ungraded assignments calling for creative, individual work rather than right/wrong answers. (McIntyre, 1989)
* Limit time that can be spent on an assignment, or number of corrections allowed. (McIntyre, 1989)
* Explain that schools are places to learn, not just demonstrate achievement. (Brophy)
* Explain that errors are normal, expected, and necessary aspects of learning (Brophy)
* Explain that everyone makes mistakes, including teachers and parents. (Brophy)
* Teach a child to measure achievement by progress over the past, rather than comparisons with peers or ideals of perfection. (Brophy)
* Create an environment of acceptance. (Greenspon) Talk about your expectations as a parent, and that you love your child for who she is, not because she meets expectations.
* Avoid putting pressure on a child to be perfect, including with oral tone and body language. (Hately)
* Don't add to the pressure with extra work or scheduling constraints. (Roedell) For example, don't overschedule a child with lessons and activities, leaving no time for free play. Don't pile on extra academic work to help a child reach her potential.
* Do not lower (realistic, achievable) standards of performance. (Hately)
* Make a child aware of mistakes a parent has made. (Hately, Rimm) Model lessons learned, and try to laugh at one's own mistakes. (Rimm)
* Help children understand that they can be satisfied when they've done their best. (Rimm)
* Use praise which is enthusiastic but moderate, thus conveying values that children can achieve. (Rimm) Use "excellent" rather than "perfect", "You're a good thinker" or "You do very well when you try" instead of "You're brilliant", etc.
* Explain that a child may not be learning if all of her work is perfect, and that making mistakes is an important aspect of challenge. (Rimm)
* Teach appropriate, constructive criticism skills, for a child to use with herself and others. (Rimm) Help a child learn to take constructive criticism.
* Read biographies of successful people who surmounted failures. (Rimm)
* Teach a child that routines and habits should not be so rigid as to be immutable. Model flexibility by purposefully breaking routines every so often. (Rimm)
* Explain that there is very often more than one way to succeed. (Rimm)
* Divide projects into beginning, intermediate and final draft stages, with perfection promoted only for the final draft. (McIntyre, 1989) For example, designing a product prototype will entail multiple stages of mockups, etc. that are not expected to be perfect, while still tending towards improvement of the final product (a.k.a. good perfectionism).
* Avoid modeling perfectionistic tendencies for a child. (Rimm) Avoid being self-critical. Make attempts to fail in minor ways in front of a child, and act like it is no cause for alarm but rather to try harder or fail constructively. Take open pride in the quality of your work, and the fact that you've done your best.
* Encourage a child to take risks, and find activities with safe opportunities for minor failure. (Hately) Find activities, such as sports, that a child is not inherently good at and has to work to master.
* Help a child set realistic goals. (Pyryt)
* Help a child to concentrate on those tasks that require extra effort and/or are high value. (Pyryt) This might include teaching a child that 80% of a reward often comes from 20% of the total effort.
* Help a child develop a capacity for constructive failure. (Pyryt) Any present imperfection should be seen as allowing for future improvement.
* Teach a child to know when to quit. (Pyryt) This is especially important with increasing amounts of information available for research online.
* Encourage a child to separate their own self-worth from their work. (Pyryt)
* Help a child realize that the commitment to excellence is a lifelong struggle, and the present circumstances are a step towards the future. (Pyryt)
* Remind a child that a grade only indicates the perceived value of an assignment from one teacher's perspective, matched against a particular rubric. (Pyryt)
* Discuss observations of a child's perfectionistic tendencies with educators and other care-givers. (Pyryt)
* Get professional help from a counselor or psychologist, if perfectionism is leading to other problems (OCD, panic attacks, eating disorders, depression, etc.). (Pyryt)
* Find a child activities that bring joy, independent of any success / failure metrics. (Pyryt)

Books related to perfectionism

Adderholdt, Miriam & Goldberg, Jan (1992). Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good.
Callard-Szulgit, Rosemary (2003). Perfectionism and Gifted Children.
Dweck, Carol S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
Greenspon, Thomas S. (2001). Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism.
Greenspon, Thomas S. (2007). What to Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism: A Guide for Kids.
Quindlen, Anna (2005). Being Perfect.
Terner, Janet (1978). The Courage to be Imperfect: The Life and Work of Rudolf Dreikurs.

There are many links to online articles on perfectionism, including some at this site, at the following page:
http://giftedwiki.org/index.php?title=Perfectionism

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