... Socially, I didn't do well either. I always blamed it on the acceleration, but in retrospect, perhaps I should have been accelerated another year.
So we each have our own perspective on this. DH is very involved with DS, and certainly deserves an equal say. When I had DD5, we divided the work so that I had the baby and he had the toddler, and it's stayed that way to a large extent. DS and DH are very close.
Tht's great - So get DH into that classroom to observe.
I don't hear DH volunteering to homeschool, so he has to see first hand what your son has to deal with every day.
And when DS complains to you about school being frustrating, direct him to DH for lessons in the manly art of handling frustration in a calm controlled way. Continue to work behind the scenes, but if you aren't going to give him that skip, I would disengage from emotionally reinforcing the idea that your son has a right or need for educational experiencing at his level. There are a lot of kids - (like you) for whom it just isn't possible for one reason or another to start to learn to love the challenge of learning during elementary school. It's far from the worst thing that could happen to a child. If your child is willing to internalize a bit, he may respond well to the 'just suck it up' approach. Not my kid though. Some will and some won't.
Remind your DH that when the boys start changing you can always switch schools and reverse the skips, or do a few years of homeschooling. Try to use any shread of resource to use what might work right now, right now, and just accept that you have to take more of a 'Chinese Menu: One from column A and 2 from column B' approach to education than a 'walk down the road' approach.
Also go up a level medically from your kid's peditrician (or get your pediatrician to visit the school and observe DS there
- it's really tricky to untangle PG (profoundly gifted) from ADHD, especially in a novel setting with 1-1 attention from an adult. Get the WISC IV done so that you can apply to Davidson YSP in the process, and your DH will be able to socialize with other families who have walked this road. It's weird to suddenly be 'normal' in this particular regard.
You might like to read Misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted children
www.sengifted.org/mis_diag.htm by JT Webb
Or if you want something more bricklike, try - Different Minds: Gifted Children With Ad/Hd, Asperger by Deirdre V. Lovecky
Best Wishes,
Grinity
