Colomom, your DD sounds like she is doing fantastically to me.
But just in case I can tell you about my eldest DD, who has CAPD I am quite sure will be diagnosed with dyslexia and inattentive ADHD / ADD shortly - my DD's teachers describe her as very well behaved, a pleasure to have in the class, etc. She's doing well now but she had a LOT of problems with learning delays at the start of school and in all that time ADHD was only mentioned once - by a psychologist who said "Well for the first half of the session I was sure she had inattentive ADHD but she focused really well in the second half so it's not that." I know now that the psychologist should have taken a much better history AND that being able to pay attention well to things that come easily and are pleasurable does NOT rule out inattentive ADHD.
I have been told as well that part of the reason a girl with inattentive ADHD is so much harder to diagnose is that they will sit still and give the perfect impression of paying attention - and still be off with the pixies.
My DD is well behaved and can be fantastically focused, but not on something that is hard for her, she can't shut out distractions or consciously control her attention. And she will talk endlessly regardless of your level of interest.
Ironically enough I just took my second daughter to a psychologist to check for some anxiety issues, which are apparently not a problem - but I was warned to keep an eye on her "ADDish tendencies". I can not tell you how much more focused and easy to keep on task she is than my eldest. I suspect that what I am seeing is that DD#1 has inattentive ADHD, dyslexia & CAPD, and might possibly be on the very mild end of the ASD spectrum. DD#2 on the other hand has a higher IQ (not sure how much higher at this point) and has nothing else wrong other than some mild inattentive ADHD. So I have two kids most likely both with inattentive ADHD but quite different and neither with behaviour problems (apart from a mother who might go spare trying to get their attention at times).
