Hi Wise Folks,

Some of you may recall my post from a few days ago where I described how DYS/PG/2e DS8's second grade teacher came to the "shocked" realization that he actually, really, truly could not control his behavior in some settings.

The way she worded it was a little ruffling, but I was grateful that she was paying enough attention to realize it. She does seem to be a caring and thoughtful teacher. And she has asked the school to have an SST meeting for him.

I need advice on how to make the best of this opportunity.

Here is some background:

The principal seems to have her heart in the right place, and the school psychologist knows DS and has helped him on and off over the past couple years. They have both done much to help him work on managing emotions and behavior. They are his allies, and defend his sincere efforts, even while pressing him to keep working. Positives.

On the other hand, the school offers no services for gifted kids. I'm on Site Council for the school (a planning committee for school objectives/goals). A number of other parents on Site Council also have gifted kids - guess why they're on Site Council wink. Each of us has put forth goals to support gifted kids (e.g., "each student progresses one year"). These are consistently shot down, with the focus instead being on the segment of kids performing below grade level (e.g., "reduce the number of students reading below grade level"). Not so positive.

There are rumors (e.g., from my pediatrician) of under the radar accommodations. There is a third grader taking fifth grade math. DS was allowed to take out library books above his assessed DRA level (gasp). A few other things - all very hush-hush because the entire district is awash in families that take Competitive Parenting to the hall of fame level, and would raise holy heck if they found out about something their kids weren't getting.

OK - sorry for the long background.

The meeting is 11/30. Today I got the list of attendees. They include Teacher, principal, School Psychologist, an outside Counselor contracted to our particular elementary school and a "Behaviorist."

I looked up the behaviorist on-line. She is an autism expert and worked at the STARS Clinic in Walnut Creek, CA, before coming to our school district.

DS has been assessed twice by third parties - once at 3.5 years, once at 6 years. He has not been found to be on the spectrum. He is PG, dysgraphic and stealth dyslexic. Based on counsel from others, and from a school board member who has also been a counselor for our family, we have not shared the assessments with the school.

Have I reached a tipping point where I need to share the assessments? Do I need to let them know he has been assessed for ASD? Or just let them do their thing and then see how it goes? As is the case for many of our kids - he is ASD-ish in some ways, even if not ASD.

I don't know the implications of going either way. I am so leery of handing over that assessment to the school. On the other hand, an IEP could be a huge help if it had the right things in it. And the assessments could fast track that a little, since they are certainly "unusual." And they could help prevent an outcome where they address 2e but not PG.

And I guess I would have to be sure they don't give him a WISC IV since it's been less than 2 years since he had that.

Argh - I'm spinning.

Thanks for any thoughts on how to optimize this opportunity,
Sue