Lots of good advice already!
I can certainly appreciate your concerns about the "allergy" - it sounds like your school has an extreme case of it. At the same time, it also sounds like they have been unusually supportive and willing to be flexible to help your DS. So perhaps yes, it's time to take a little risk and trust them. It does sounds like they have earned that chance.
I can't imagine it's going to come as any surprise to them that your DS is smart. However, they really are working blind without the whole picture: what they need into understand just how unusual his cognitive abilities are, and how those mix with his other Es to result in what they see at school. Your DS's ability to compensate for his disabilities will be unlike anything they have ever imagined before. They cannot begin to understand those disabilities without realizing his extreme capacity to mask the things he can't do, and to find other ways of doing them. Those ways are harder, slower, less efficient, frustrating and painful, but what they see is that he
can do it, not what it costs him. He, however, is likely acutely aware of every single thing that is inexplicably harder for him than everyone else. I can't agree enough with polarbear's experience:
When my ds was struggling in early elementary prior to diagnosis, not one adult recognized that his problem behaviors were happening because he was very aware that every other kid in class could do something he couldn't do. Mix that in with a high cognitive functioning level, and he was overwhelmed with not understanding *why* he was different. Putting accommodations for his disability in place asap was key to helping him function in a way that allowed for his gifts to be apparent to others.
Our DD completely looked like she could do what the others were doing and seemed to function on grade level. But it was killing her, and getting harder every day to keep up, and her anxiety was going through the roof but no one recognized her unpleasant stress behaviours as the panic they were. They couldn't see any sign of the struggle - all they saw was grade appropriate work and a grumpy, somewhat defiant and not overly cooperative child. She obviously
could, so when she didn't it was because she
won't. She was so good at hiding the "can't", they truly never realized it was there. Her challenges could not be recognized in the absence of realizing her abilities too. Nor could they be properly remediated without accounting for the way she could learn. Nor would she obtain material that engaged her at the right level, needed to encourage her to "work through the pain", so to speak. All that to say, you cannot possibly create appropriate accommodations for a child like your DS without understanding the way his Es combine. We had to go way off "normal" diagnosis, remediation and supports for my DD - and your DS is quite a few standard deviations beyond her in verbal ability. That has huge impacts, on absolutely every everything.
So my two cents worth is bring the reports, and highlight the key conclusions. It's not necessary to either emphasize or avoid any particular parts, instead just itemize the whole list: this is what we know about him. No finding is more or less important or relevant than the others; it's the whole package that adds up to DS.
However, there are ways to avoid trigger words (you don't want to traumatize them!), while still being factual. For example, rather than mentioning gifted or IQ scores by name, you might be able to use something like "he has unusual cognitive abilities. His testing suggests 1 in x kids would have a similar level of cognitive functioning - so his teachers would typically encounter a kid like him once every Y years". (I generally find scores mean nothing to most people, and scores like your DS's are hard for people to wrap their brains around. Discussing the frequency with which a teacher will encounter a child with this profile seems to place the whole thing in more meaningful context.) Similarly, you can use the simple term "dyslexic" rather than "stealth dyslexic", and explain how the combination with his verbal abilities means he does not present as you would expect a child with a reading disability to present, but it is still there, and here are some of the ways he compensates so you don't see it, and some of the ways the are harder to mask, where you do see the impacts still.
Argh - I got long-winded again (sorry, bad habit). Hope the meeting goes well!
