1. Don't panic.
2. I think you should give them all the information you already have (including written reports), let them know what the strengths and problems of your DD are, the whole picture, and let them evaluate. You want them to be thorough and fair-- withholding information is only going to prevent thoroughness.
3. I don't have a problem with "labels" if they accurately describe what's going on. If he makes a diagnosis, you can ask exactly what his reasons are, and ask on until you understand. To determine whether someone has ADHD there are usually parent and teacher questionnaires (lengthy ones) and a whole lot of delving into behavior. It's not something most professionals do lightly.
4. If you don't want to give your DD meds, nobody is able to "make" you do that. You will retain choice in the matter. Meds are the main way that medical science has available at this point for treating ADHD in young children (older kids can compensate more with behavioral strategies), but you don't have to do it that way if you don't want to.
DeeDee
