Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Rebuttal to "learn to cope with boredom"

I just read this fabulous quote on a homeschool blog (http://redseahomeschool.wordpress.com/):


I love this. "I have been surprised by how often people express a belief that adulthood consists of just that, and only that." What a grim view of our children's futures these "fit the box" educators are trying to sell us!

It involves both luck and skill to end up in a job you like.

At the same time, even a job you like will have some things you don't want to do in it. (In a really lucky job, I'd peg the uninteresting stuff at 10% of your working time.)

We are working hard to get DS to do the school tasks that don't interest him, to make him capable of coping with that 10+ percent.

I've worked with people who can't cope with (or simply refuse to pay attention to) the boring parts of their jobs, and frankly, they make more work for the responsible ones in the office. No matter how gifted they are in other areas, I can't stand these people because they take up the time of their fellow workers by foisting tasks off on them. Interestingly, they are more often men than women; I think boys are allowed to get away with not learning to cope more than girls are.

I think there is some truth in the learning to cope argument; although if school is boring much of the time, obviously, a serious change must be made.

DeeDee

I can't say I understand what it is like to be bored personally. Over the years, I have often wondered if this was just some word people throw around with some other meaning. At times I thought it might be due to children being spoiled and not having experienced times without someone trying to keep them occupied. Other times, I thought it might have to do with too much early exposure to TV.

It also occurred to me it could be a lack of creativity. I have always been able to find some way to find entertainment in whatever situation I found myself in. My DD6 is also very creative and for the most part able to find a way to entertain herself. However, there is a difference between us. As soon as she is done an activity, she goes instantly from happy to unhappy. Whereas I continue to feel good for hours or even days after the activity is over.

I used to say a lot of people do not know how to savour the good times. My new view is this has something to do with more instantaneous changes in emotion. This does not run in my family, but it definitely runs in my daughter's mom's family. Not only do they have these instanteous changes in emotion, they have extremely intense emotions.

At least in my case, my DD is creative enough to make her own fun. However, the rapid emotional changes does worry me somewhat.

I've kind of gone from looking at this from a nurture point of view to a nature point of view. I am still open to nurture having some influence on this.

I was just reading A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children, which I read first a couple years ago but am now reading with fresh eyes, and they talk about how this topic -- kids having to learn to deal with boredom -- can lead to underachievement. In essence, it says that we ask gifted kids to curb their desire to learn new things, to wait until next semester or next year to learn something with the class, to enjoy being kids, to not get ahead of their class, and to just fit in. And then, when middle school and high school rolls around and the kids are doing their darndest to fit in with their classmates and are not "living up to their potential" and are just following their peers, we criticize them for their underachievement. So, reward for underachievement when they're young and then criticize for underachievement a few years later. Makes no sense!

I agree that, to a degree, we all need to learn to deal with situations where all our needs are not being met. It's unreasonable to expect to be mentally or physically challenged all the time. But I think it's a matter of ratios. The scales of any situation should tip towards challenging or entertaining enough of the time to make it fulfilling and worthwhile. The benefits have to outweigh the costs. Of course, the ratio of costs to benefits would depend on the person. On personality, values, age, goals, attention span, etc. If you're asking a gifted child to wait for his class to catch up with him every once in a while, then it may be good for the child to learn other ways to entertain himself or learn something while he waits. But if you're asking for a child to wait for his class to catch up the majority of the time, and if you're restricting him from finding other ways to entertain himself or learn something, then I think you have big problems.