Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Need help dealing with a thoughtless teacher!

My DS11 is attending a private school; this is his first year there. We have had a few issues with bullying and teachers singling DS out but for the most part, these have been resolved except for one.

When we first registered DS at this school, we inquired about their Advanced Math class knowing that our DS needed acceleration especially in Math, although the school is considered accelerated in all subjects. We were told that the counselor would look at his test scores and call us before school started so that DS could take the Advanced Math placement test. We were confident that with a 99th percentile composite Math score, they would call us. The school never called before the beginning of school, so we asked again after school started. And now, for this entire school year, we have been trying to get him into Advanced Math. He has a 100% in his regular Math class, he complains of being bored in Math and has been called out on many occasions for not paying attention in Math.

The Advanced Math teacher has told us that her class is a privilege to be earned by the student and that our DS would have to prove to her how smart he was. The principal offered for our DS to attend the after-school Advanced Math tutoring sessions to help him "prove" himself, but after his first tutoring session, our DS told us the Advanced Math teacher told him some pretty mean things in front of the other students attending the tutoring session. This is what she said:

1. "It is not fair for me to stay after school to work with you. I don't tutor. You are not even my student. I am only here for the students that have earned their spot in Advanced Math."

2. She told him, in front of other students, that his standardized test scores in Math were not good enough to be in Advanced Math, and that she had students with higher scores that are barely able to keep up with the class. The score she was using was from a 3-year old achievement test I gave him when we homeschooled; she and the school have 2 more recent standardized tests given by an educational psychologist with much higher Math scores.

3. She told him it was his fault he didn't get into Advanced Math in the beginning of the year because he should have prepared for the Advanced Math placement test. When DS took the Advanced Math placement test, it was after I asked about it once school had started. Evidently, the school had overlooked giving the test to my DS before school started. I had no idea when he was going to be given the test. His homeroom teacher called me in the early afternoon one day to tell me they would keep DS after school for 30 minutes that day to give him the test. DS was pulled out of the carpool line to go take the test! When should he have prepared? So, his scores were supposedly not high enough to qualify for Advanced Math.

Now, he is scared to go to school. He is also scared that the principal will kick him out of school because we, DH and I, have had to call and email several times on other issues. We are wondering if we need to call about the things the Advanced Math teacher told him...

I was a public school teacher and my principal would have kicked ME out if I treated a child this way so I am really puzzled at this situation. I can't understand why she would be treating my DS this way.

Have any of you had this happen and what did you do about it? How do you feel about the Advanced Math being considered a "privilege"? We are looking at other schools, but how would you handle this situation with DS's current school?

Thanks

The hammer needs to come down on this teacher, hard. I would contact the principal immediately. That teacher's behavior is outrageous.

Agreed; outrageous behavior.

This is clearly bullying.

Does the school have a written policy somewhere for faculty/staff conduct? An anti-bullying policy in writing anywhere?

Because this definitely crossed over the line-- assuming that everything that your child has reported to you is entirely accurate, that is.

I'm not saying that it isn't, by the way, just that it may require more investigating on your part before you level that kind of accusation at a teacher.

It certainly doesn't seem as though the administration is as interested in meeting your child's needs as they are in offering lip service to that end, however, and THAT really would have me pretty steamed, even without the teacher's bullying of my child.

HowlerKarma, I understand about making sure what this teacher said is accurate. As far as the teacher believing her Advanced Math class is a privilege - she told me this herself also. She also spoke to me about my DS's scores on the old test. She favored using the stanine score which is exactly what she told my son. I'm pretty certain his retelling is accurate.

We did talk to the principal after she told me her class was a privilege to be earned, and the principal hesitantly backed up that belief.

I posted this to see if how I feel about this situation is valid. I'm very upset and feel like this is too absurd to really be happening. This is a highly-reputable school and the only reason I can see for this treatment is that they truly don't understand gifted children, or they really dislike my DS.

Since he has received only S's in conduct and I have never had any notes home or calls about his behavior, I assume it is not his behavior.

Why do you think a teacher would say this to a student and act this way?

I agree with Iucounu and HK. I suggest sending most of your post to the principal as a letter. I would copy everything starting from "When we first registered DS at this school..." to "I can't understand why she would be treating my DS this way." Add an introduction asking for clarification and a conclusion that basically says, "Your teacher appears to have humiliated my son in front of the other students. Do you support this behavior? What you going to do about this situation? Please respond by <insert date that's not too far out; less than a week.>."

As for the question about advanced math being a "privilege," I don't understand. Perhaps you could phrase a question to the principal in this way: "Why is an appropriate learning environment a privilege?"

If your son is getting 100% in math while not paying attention in class, this should be all the proof they need that he needs a higher-level class. They may claim that he didn't get an appropriate score on their test and that admitting him won't be "fair" to others. My suggested counterargument: if they neglected to give him the test before school started and then didn't give him any warning about administering it (yet claimed he should have studied for it), they are the ones being "unfair," because he didn't get the same chance to study for the test that everyone else did.

So sorry.

Val

This isn't helpful, but it is all I can think--because she is mean and horrible and shouldn't be teaching children?

Seriously--I think how you feel is completely valid. I would be irate. I am so sorry your son is having to deal with her.

Yup - what Val says!

MON - so glad that this helped your DD. Awesome!
Grinity

Talk to the teacher first. Even if they don't mean to, children often say things in a way that make it sound worse than it is. If that satisfies you, fantastic. Problem solved. If not, speak to the principal, and if necessary, the school board. This is NOT acceptable behavior from a teacher!

Would your child have this teacher again next year if they stay at this school? If not, I would cut them out of the loop and deal directly with the principal/head of school as an issue of "appropriate placement." It doesn't sound like your dc and this teacher are ever going to have good chemistry, not matter what is really going on. Since it is a private school, I am assuming you have to commit to a contract for next year very soon. If the admissions/administration folks aren't willing to work with you, then it probably isn't the right school for your child.

We have also gone the private school route and have found it to be more affective to deal with school advocacy issues like business decisions, rather than emotional issues of fairness.

(We have also found that having dh do most of the correspondence and attending all school meetings tends to make advocacy more efficient for us. That is a whole other topic, but it sounds like part of the reason you are frustrated is have your families time wasted...)