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My son learns fast we need 2-3 repetitions and he gets it.
As far as the homeschooling the teacher noticed and she said that it doesnt affect his academic..Principal didnt not know we were skipping school 1x a week and that`s since october.The person that evaluated him thinks it`s wrong because it makes him look special.But we really don`t care we do it for our son`s sanity.He does work at his level that day and plays hockey with his dad.It`s his happy day!!

As far as the challenge work I have no idea what they give him right now.My son is not very talkative about his school days.
I think if he only had one person doing the same work as him it would work out.He likes to work independently but he also likes working with other people if they understand fast like him.I think he starts to realize he has different interests than the other kids and he tries to fit in.

and for the devious seed we thought about it!!!

If he is asking to do the same work as the other children, it is a fair bet that either the teacher has commented about or made an issue of the fact that his work is different, or that the teacher is asking him to do his "challenge" work during a time when the other children are doing something that he would like to be doing, too. This is not ok.

Or it may be that he doesn't want to do it because his "challenge" work is *twice as boring* because it still isn't teaching anything but takes twice as long... if he is getting pages of two and three digit addition worksheets, but is capable of working at 7th grade level, I can see why he'd rebel.

I think that it is important to find out what this supposed "challenge" work is before you meet with the IEP team again, or at least make sure that the teacher brings the same work your son refused to do to the meeting with her.

I agree with you aculady.

I know one of his challenged work was to find things online and write about them,say if he liked his research and present it to the class.He was excited at first but it ended being too vague and he was pretty much copying what was on the screen.I think some of the links he didn`t like ; he had stuff about animals and he was telling me that he doesnt want to know about what they are doing but he wants to know how they are made(organs,bones etc).
At a meeting teacher said she would change that with questions he needs to answer but I never saw them...

As far as worksheets in math is at 3rd grade level but in class I don`t think he does that .For some reason they are so scared not to follow the curriculum.At home he does them really fast and if it is too repetitive he gets bored and unfocused.

This rings a huge warning bell for me because my son was once in the same boat of turning into someone else only that he didn't say anything about killing himself but I believe he would have if we'd continued in the school. The change in him was too obvious to ignore. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I haven't much else to add since others have given you such good advice but wanted to suggest how much FT homeschooling helped in our situation. We saw an instant change in him. Or as someone else suggested, if they would agree to pulling him out 2 days a week instead of 3? In our situation we could see that the school was going to remain stubborn. They wouldn't even agree to speak to us or have a conference. So pulling him out was the only thing we could do.

How in the world could they call his behavior "manipulative"? Sheesh...it's making my blood boil the more I think of it.

Virtual hugs.

I agree that he probabably would be fine with one or two kids at his level IF the teachers would provide work at their level as well. I love homeschooling, but it is very very expensive, and you probably are already paying taxes, so why shouldn't the school provide for your kids like they do for every other kid.

The good news is that they have tested him, and see that he is way above grade level. All they need now is the will to place him correctly.

1) do you feel that he could do 3rd grade work at this time? Are the handwriting efforts too much at 3rd grade level? (I'm thinking temporary fix while they sort things out....)

2) Have you cried in front of the principle? Sadly - you need to - the cold presentation of facts just never swayed any ND person.

Think: They won't care how much I know, until they know how much I care.

You need to remember how scary this whole thing is and go in there today or tomorrow and ball your eyes out. If they think you are nuts, then you have to homeschool, if they have any human warmth in their hearts, they will believe you and just give him a vacation in 3rd grade 'for now' while they bring in the psychologist for help, etc. You situation is scary, and getting your own psychologist seems wise. Your child is screaming for help - be glad he has a voice and isn't throwing chairs. Afterall - if you were reading at a 7th grade level and forced to sit in 1st grade, for the 2nd time, wouldn't you be ready to chuck a chair?

((IF you ask for 3rd and they give you 2nd, as a temporary measure, saying that lots of 2nd graders are doing 3rd grade math, it's ok to say yes - especially if the room they put him his has those kids, and the teacher is gathering them together for higher level work a few times a week. But ask for 3rd.))

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Right now he is getting 3rd grade homework bout no math in 2 months.

When we had a meeting last month they said to give 3rd grade stuff until they figured out the IEP but I think he gets 2nd grade stuff.

I had a talk with ds yesterday and he said his challenge is always in language(reading,writing)he never has math and he wants math.I think he is too scared to ask because it`s always a no.So he always gets a refusal and it took him everything to ask because he is too shy.He told me he asked her if he could read the story to the class instead of her and she refused.Which would have been a self esteem booster for him because this year he thinks he is stupid and dumb...



His handwriting is great and he writes fast.He was doing all his homework in cursive at the beginning of the year:teacher never noticed,no one taught him he learned on his own but he stop doing from lack of acknowledgement.Then after out of boredom he was doing his homework with square letter (only square line so the "o" pretty muck looked like a square)then 3D letter,then writing with a ruler,then with giant letters And after with letter so small that you needed a magnifier to read!!

I never cried in front of them but I had the feeling they thought I was nuts when I asked them to put him in 2nd grade at the beginning of the year.And when we had the meeting with principal and I said he wanted to kill himself the question was :Do you think he is serious?For us it was a warning sign from our ds that he is not happy since he never says anything.

It`s weird it is such a struggle because in a school system they make us feel he is abnormal but in our family he is normal.Lots of very smart people on both sides of the family so for us what he is capable of doing we were all doing it so I never realized he was that much advanced.

I think it's not too late to go in and cry. Lots of us gifted ex-children have very rich emotions and we work hard to contain them, so that it gets to be a habit we don't even realize we have. But then folks don't really get how upset we are. You can say you had a nightmare and make something up that makes you cry and communicates to the school that you really are THAT upset. You won't be lying - you'll just be translating. AFter all - I get how scared you are by the current situation without you having to translate. It's best to find out today if they 'have hearts' or don't 'have hearts'

I don't understand about the homework...what is he doing in the classroom, also 2nd or 3rd grade stuff? Putting him in the classroom with a 'big kids' is a totally more exciting prospect. Better for him socially, and better to be in a room where the teacher talks to the kids as though they know things and can do things.


It is weird, and very common for HG/PG families. I wish I had a nickle for every time I hear this story here. Spending time in the actual classroom is an eye opener - to say the least! If you want to be really scared, visit! The good news it that you can come out the other side more accepting and more understanding of yourself and your family.

Smiles,
Grinity

I get mixed message about what he is doing in the classroom.They tell me he doesn`t do 1st grade stuff anymore but a minute after they tell me to do the challenge he needs to finish what everybody else is doing so 1st grade stuff.I don`t know I just found out last Thursday about what is going on right now..

Grinity did you actually go in a classroom to see what was going on?

That is why he needs to physicall be in the third grade room. They have already tested him at 3rd grade level but they aren't 'believing' what they found. It's like an electron blinking between energy levels 'yes I see' and 'no I dont' see' in rapid succession. Which is why you need to step in and take control. They are blithering.
I was lucky, our particular school allowed the parents to come in and help. Then I visited other schools to see what the alternatives were, and the Montessori school suggested I sit quietly and assured me that I would fade into the rug, and I saw that this was true - the teacher was tremendously direspectful (to my point of view) to a child with me sitting 15 feet away! No party manners there. Then I even had the honor of teaching religious school 7th graders when my son was in 2nd grade, I also got to fill-in homework sit one of my son's best friends- it took all of these experiences to realize that my attitudes about the school system were totally off base. Schools aren't bad or evil. They just are very good at teaching kids who fall inside a normal range, and mine doesn't. Even though his fly is unzipped at times, and he's still a kid, he's just quite unusual.

check out Giftodd's discription:
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....is_is_an_issue_or_just_a_.html#Post97769

love and More love,
Grinity

Thanks for linking to my experience Grinity - I am glad I can be of use (often feel like I'm just asking for advice rather than having much to offer!)

Kaboom, being in the midst of a similar situation I can't offer much by way of advice, but I really would second Grinity's suggestion to go in to the classroom if you can. It was a real eye opener and it gave me the opportunity to see for myself what was or wasn't happening and gave me a much better idea of where dd sits in relation to other kids.

Dd, who skipped kindergarten into a 1/2 composite class, is well beyond even the top kids in grade 2 across - except in things like art and sport in which her abilities are fairly age appropriate. And yet her presentation in class is really that of maybe an MG kid. She's very introverted. She struggles to think on her feet with an audience (one of the main reasons the normal classroom is not great for introverts - they want time to think their answers through) and is very quite (though not shy). If I hadn't been in the classroom I wouldn't have seen how this was manifesting. And it gives me an insight in to why the teacher is responding to her in the way she is.

Lol - it hasn't actually helped me with a resolution yet - the teacher is evading all attempts for a sit down meeting and told me yesterday she would not consider my request for her to scratch the surface with dd!

Best of luck, you've had some great feedback from Grinity and the other posters.