Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Talking about sadness...

Hello All,

I am relatively new to the forum and I am not even sure how to frame this question.

As DS2 and I were riding home from the park yesterday, he said, "I am so sad." I tried to ask him what he was feeling, why he was feeling it. He has been very sensitive lately. Even as he was saying this he was looking quite reflective and thoughtful. I understand that he just doesn't have the emotional architecture or the understanding perhaps to communicate what is troubling him. This is a kid who has been "conversational" for months and communicates ideas and concepts fairly well.

How do you all communicate with your children about large scale emotions?

My husband and I have always worked to have a appropriate expectations for communication and behavior considering DS's age. i.e., we don't (try not to) expect more than he has shown himself developmentally ready for.

Well I hope that made some sense.

Best,
S

Have you read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/06...IKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1TM1BQE058F0XC1X62FK

Raising a Thinking Child: Help Your Young Child to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others by Myrna Shure

I'm not sure which level of this info would be 'right' for your son, but Shure give great explaination about how to talk about feelings with kids. I think age 2- gifted is a perfect time to start, so don't be put off if the book says: 'age 5-8' or something like that. Just skim around and see which book you think would be helpful to your family.

I think it's a great system, but it usually is too basic for most gifted kids by the time they get to be the ages recommended.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

We talk A LOT about emotions (DD is 2 also) and even when she was really little she had one of those cloth activity books (you know the kind with the buttons, zippers etc) and in it there were faces with different emotions. We'd pick up each face at a time, make the face, make the sign for the face and discuss the emotion.

I don't know if you do TV but DD loves Kai Lan. In it they talk a lot about emotions, discuss out to identify when someone is angry/sad/nervous etc and gives examples of ways to deal with that. DD begs to watch it non-stop and will retail the stories and how the characters solve them. Many times if we have an issue come up we'll discuss on of their episodes and it helps her work through the problem.

Beyond that as a family we're pretty upfront about everything. If we're upset we say it (both between DH and I or between us and DD) and say why we're upset and figure out ways to deal with it. One suggestion too is if he says he's sad talk to him about how you get sad sometimes too (maybe give a few simple examples) and then discuss things that help you feel better.

My son Nathan is 2 years and 5 months and has been doing this for a while now. He will just come to me for cuddles and say "I'm very sad" or similarly phrased down emotions. When I try to talk to him about it, he cannot always articulate it - occasionally its when I moaned a bit to sharply about something, or when his older brother won't let him do something, but other times it's just out of the blue. and he does look so sad that you want to hug him and fix the problems in his heart.

But I can't, so we are working on naming emotions and expressing thoughts nicely.

I have noticed that he sometimes says sad when he could also mean upset, angry or any other negative emotion. So we focus a lot on those and how they make you feel - ie giving him scope and ability to express correctly what he is feeling.

not sure if it will help or not I also managed to find a series of lovely emotion books for kids. Here is the Amazon link to the "when I am feeling sad" book in the range. they are all lovely and use descriptions that make sense to kids and help adults to teach about them in a positive way.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Feeling-Sad-Trace-Moroney/dp/0769644260