Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Need help choosing between two schools, please....

Hi,

This is my first post. I've gotten so much great info reading this board. My daughter is in 4th grade so I'm looking ahead to middle school which starts in 6th grade here. We live in Howard County, MD, our schools are highly regarded. Her public elementary school has been really great. It is small (under 300 students) and very personal. The GT program has been great. In 3rd grade she had an inexperienced teacher, after working through it with the school I was very satisfied. She tests in the highly gifted range. She is currently in a fantastic GT math program that has the kids working over two years ahead with lots of hands on projects.

Over the past year I've done alot of reading about single sex education so began looking at a very good private girls prep school. I like the small classes and the fact that she could start Latin in middle school. I began asking questions about curriculum, specifically math. I learned that in 6th grade there is one math class with no differentiation. IN 7th they differentiate but only two section at grade and one year ahead. They would not be willing to let her take math with the 8th graders. I also learned that they use Connected Mathematics. After reading about reform math I feel certain I don't want to submit her to that, especailly when she loves math and does quite well. Both the admissions person and math chair admitted they could not compare with the GT math and science in our county. That they really served the middle best. I mistakenly assumed the private school would have more challenging courses.

The public middle school has a GT track, my daughter would be in all GT classes except PE, media and technology. GT classes at this school run between 15 and 18 students. I feel she would get a good education there but am not crazy about the possible social ills in a coed middle school environment.

692 students vs 150 at the private school though GT class sizes are the same.

The social stuff involving boys, vs the strength a girl can develop in a single sex environment.

GT track at the public school vs a setback in math and reform math at the private school.

Homeschool using CTY is always an option, though she is an only and enjoys her school community.

Any thoughts?

Thanks so much~

Ohh, you've hit all my 'hot buttons' - LOL at me!

Do you have any compelling reason to think that your DD 'in particular' is at risk for the sort of problems that are cured by single sex environments?

I 'hated' females at that age, and would have been really lonely without my guy pals.

Is your DD happy where she is? How does she do socially?

I pay for school because I have to, but I don't 'believe' in it. If there was a public school that would work reasonably for my son academically and socially, he'd be attending it.

If you are looking for votes, here's mine - homeschool latin and leave her in the public system. The academic fit sounds better and the 'willing to work with parent's factor' sounds better.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Wow--these are exactly my thoughts for my 4th grade dd (except that I don't have specific schools in mind b/c don't know where we will be). I am 99.9% sold on single sex for a girls school. The math would be a concern...it just doesn't make sense they wouldn't allow her to accelerate in math. But it may be balanced out by the benefits of being in a single sex environment. For me personally, the boys in my middle school, (where there was ability grouping, so these were the gifted/bright high achievers) were a huge detriment academically and socially. I don't think that in an all girls environment there would be the same pressure not to appear to smart, not to answer questions, etc. etc. (Not to mention the distractions of all those hormones floating around) So I would lean toward the private, perhaps afterschooling or getting a mentor/tutor for math.

The reality is though that we will not be able to afford private school in most areas of the country, and I pray that we will have the kind of public school option you have. Good luck with the decision!

p.s. I already have my eye on the PEG program at Mary Baldwin--I think it could be a good fit for my dd.

Welcome tjd! Of course, you'll have to remember where you're asking your question... The GT school you've described sounds great, and even the folks at the private school concur it would be better academically. I am jealous that your public GT school has such small class sizes. We would jump for that.

Since the private school sounds relatively inflexible re: accommodating your DD's GT needs, and they have been up front about that, I wouldn't even consider it.

I think that self-esteem comes from mastering challenges. Doing hard things well is one of the best ways to develop a sense of accomplishment and an internal locus of control. With that in mind, I think that there is no doubt that the public GT program is a better place than the girl's school for your daughter to meet the kinds of challenges that will build her self-esteem, not break it down. I think that the fact that the girls' school doesn't really offer advanced math is likely to send the message that math isn't something that girls are supposed to be good at - not a message that you want to send to your daughter at this age.

Edit: I would like to mention that I went to a co-ed public middle school, and nearly all of my best friends there were boys. A fair number of them are still very close friends today. I didn't really feel any pressure to "dumb down", but maybe I was oblivious to it. I think there is something to be said for learning to work cooperatively with both genders and stand up for yourself in a co-ed environment, unless your daughter plans to work in an all-female company when she gets out of college.

Just curious, have the posters who want their girls at all-girls schools attended an all-girls school? I have many friends who attended an all-girls high-school (15-20 years ago), and (more recently) some who attended an all-girls middle-school/high school. The main bonus was they didn't have pressure to put on make up to impress anyone. The GT girls suffered - the schools were not geared toward GT, and they felt that all the girls were smart. There were all kinds of nasty cliques as well. None of these friends who have daughters have sent them to all-girls schools. (Not personal experience, I know, but just thought I'd throw that out there.)

ETA: I recommend asking to see if you can get some names of some HG girls who have graduated from the private school you're investigating, so you can ask them how it was for them.

Thanks for your reply. Well - I may be worried because middle school was awful for me, bad things happening many years ago. I know this doesn't apply to her.

I do know, first hand, of some things happening at the school that I don't agree with - dating in 6th grade, facilitated by parents. I think my daughter, at this point, could weather all that, she is very much a kid. But would it be stressful?

SHe is very happy where she is, likes everyone and is well liked. It's less than half the size of the middle school.

I don't believe in private either - honestly will be difficult for me if we go that way. I worry about the class issues.

She can do Latin in HS in public....

Thanks so much!

I have talked to one recent graduate who was from the inner city on schoalrship - she loved it and it changed her life. Don't know if the GT factor was in play here.

One of my best friends - who is smart and extremely competitive and successful in a mans world went to an all girls magnet schoool in England. She sure knows who she is.

The class/clique stuff really scares me.

Thanks for your reply - the dumbing down factor came up in all my reading about single sex ed. I;m glad to hear that doesn't have to be the case.

I contacted 4 of the best prep schools in the Baltimore area - none accelerate more than a year, all 4 use reform math.

Yes, we are lucky. I think I'll go meet the GT resource lead at the schoool and see how I feel.

Guess I'm trying to weigh academics VS single sex - if she weren't so happy with math it wuld be an easy choice.

Thanks!