Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion heaven questions, "parenting beyond belief"

good point!
i suppose it is possible that a new astronomical item named Heaven is the source of this conversation my son reported, but it seems the less likely possibility!

i'd like to clarify that it's not the finding of new objects in space that i find unlikely...

My parents did a pretty good job at religion, I think. They were different from eachother which was also good. My dad more intolerant but also very clearly saying "It doesn't really matter what I believe, you have to make up your own mind". My mom more tolerant and more aware of the social aspects of religions, herself personally interested in history and different belief systems.

I think my mom started off in preschool years by telling me some Greek myths (in addition to some long and boring stories about various greek battles, she was just interested in Greek stuff). And in everyday stories like Aladdin she might make a reference to the genie being god-like. So I think I heard early on the idea of a god being a powerful being that might be able to do magic type things.

Later when I was around 8 or 10 she and I read parts of the bible together, for fun, and looked up all the places and really talked about what Christians believed versus Jewish people, etc. She had quite a bit of knowledge about various (western) religions so if I'd ask "what's hell?" she'd respond pretty specifically "well Catholics believe X.... and Mormons believe Y".

If there's any advice in that it would be to get a brief text that discusses religious beliefs in some detail in order to be clear on it yourself and able to answer questions fairly specifically.

Polly

This is very topical for us - my dd5 went to a new friend's house for the first time the other week and, without asking me, they took her to Sunday school! I am an atheist and my husband is agnostic. While I am happy for her to be exposed to any and all religions, I was a bit shocked at the presumptuousness. DD kept on making up stories about apples and snakes for the rest of the week!

No suggestions, but happy the thread was started as I'm interested in other's suggestions. So thanks!

I am what one would consider Agnostic. DH was raised Southern Black Baptist (there is a difference between Bapstists, Southern Baptists & Baptists in the African American churches in the south). My mother grew up Catholic. My father Protestant. My brother and I were raised without religion. My parents are now Presbyterian and take DC to church with them. Confused yet?

Anyway, we have explaining our own beliefs and those of others fairly easy, as I am white and DH is black. I know that sounds crazy, but they know that families are made up of all different people - races, genders, ages and parental/guardian roles. So we treat religion the same way. They know, for the most part, what the core beliefs are for the major religions. We have included Atheism (my brother is an Atheist) as well. It also seems to help them in their own decisions. Granted, we have them going to a Christian church, but they know they are free to believe, even as young as they are, in what they feel in their hearts is right.

I also think it depends on your perspective. I am very "Science" focused. My way of discussing "heaven" and "hell" is similar to my discussion of "ghosts" and "magic". Let's investigate the idea- gather as much information about it as possible. Then, can we test it? Why or why not? If so, how do we test it? Etc.

We do read about different religions and people's beliefs. We learn about the significance of holidays for the religious and secular.

I am, unfortunately, having some trouble getting DD7 to be sensitive to people's religious beliefs. But, I guess kids aren't really sensitive to hers (lack thereof) either.

We have many discussions in our house about religion. DH is atheist and I am Catholic, we are raising our kids Catholic. But, they know daddy is not Catholic and that he believes different things than I do and that we want them to learn about my religion so that they can make an informed decision about whether or not they believe.
We have had to content with a Sunday school teacher telling DD (then 5) that people who don't believe in God are bad! She apparently had an argument with the woman about her daddy and friends who are not Catholic not being bad people.
We've also had discussions about how the big bang theory fits in with the idea of God creating the universe and everything in it. Someone had tried to tell her that she had to chose which one she believed to be true, and she wasn't/isn't willing to make that choice (not that I think she needs to either, but that is a different topic). This all led to the question "If God created everything, what created Him?"
So, I guess my point is, that it is really dependent on how firmly you believe you want your children to believe the same thing you do. We are very open with DDs and answer their questions very differently, but the main thing is that they are open to differences and accepting of them.

You might also want to check out the book Really, Really Big Questions, a kids' book on critical thinking written from the secular humanist perspective:
http://www.amazon.com/Really-Big-Questions-Stephen-Law/dp/0753463091

I'd also recommend going online to find out whether there is a Parenting Beyond Belief or similar group in your area. We've attended events with our local chapter on a few occasions just to let DS6 know that he's not the only kid who doesn't go to Sunday school or believe in the devil. Kids at school told him when he was only 5 that he would go to hell if he didn't believe in god, so you can't start early enough.

We've been reading myths from all over the world to DS6 since he was very young. As a result, he's already capable of thinking critically about the Bible. For example, when we read him the Noah's ark story, he immediately drew connections between that and earlier, similar flood myths from that same part of the world. I would suggest going to the myth and religion section of the library and loading up. Norse myths are especially popular in our house.

"Really, Really Big Questions" looks interesting. I'll check that out.

The experiences you've all written about have given me some great thoughts on how to proceed. Thanks for sharing them.