Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school That drowning feeling...

Ok, so for the past few days, I have been in a heartwrenching deadlock with DS. I think it's been building for a while, but it's really comming to a head.

He wants to "play"

Apparently nothing I can do satisfies that desire.

help?
-Mich

Sorry I am not following...what does he want to play? What does he enjoy doing? I know playing doesn't come natural to everyone, are you meaning he wants to play with you and you aren't sure exactly how to do that?

He doesn't seem to know what he wants to play. He's wanted 6+ hrs of playdough per day the last few days, but he's frustrated the whole time, saying "no, PLAY" over and over. He wanted to play catch today, but he can't catch yet. We tried for about half an hour, and he actually did catch a few times, but there were a lot of tears. He wanted to play trains, but took out several pieces, stared at them silently, said "no" to all of my suggestions, and then morosely put them away again. He wanted to play music, but he just got really stormy and kept handing me a different instrument, and taking a different one himself every few seconds. He wants to read books, but he wants them in a specific order, and somehow they're always on the wrong floor, and it all goes to peices.

That sort of stuff.

I've tried suggesting, I've tried letting him lead, I've tried easy stuff, and hard stuff. I've tried active stuff and quiet stuff. I've tried taking him to the busiest, kidfullest places I can, I've tried keeping him home all day and not going out at all. I've tried doing 15 different things in quick succession, I've tried going really deep into something.

I've tried just letting him nurse for hours, but there's frustration comming out his pores. Last night he only slept 7 hrs, with a bajillion wake ups so he's not even doing THAT. He just isn't feeling satisfyed by anything, I think.

-Mich

ahh....how old his he?

Almost 2... and waking now... will be back on later. Giong to try coffe and books.

-Mich

Well it sounds like you have tried a lot of different things! The only thing I can really think of at this point is not trying. Put things out and if he is miserable and chooses not to be interested, then he is miserable. Some kids actually do worse when their parents are engaged and watching them and trying to interact. It's like the enjoy putting on a miserable show and having you involved. I can't explain, I just know in working with kids all day that it happens. I know you already have had him take the lead, but maybe just be in the same room but not involved at all.

Another idea is playdates with other kids. I know they may not play together, but this may give him ideas about how to play or what to play. Or just go and pick up toys and start playing with them. Don't ask him to join you, just go and do it and see what happens. Build a tent, start painting, etc.

That's the only thoughts I have, maybe others have different ideas. Good luck, hope the coffee helps

It's OT for this board, but has he got his two-year molars already, and if not could they be coming now? Your description reminds me more of times when my DS wasn't feeling great than anything else.

You must be so frustrated! It sounds like it could be a stage, getting ready to make a developmental leap of some sort. He wants something, but he hasn't got the cognitive or language skills to understand or express what he wants. If that sounds like what it could be, I'd be inclined to get out a bit more than normal and see if you can't distract him a bit until it falls into place - or maybe he forgets about it. Or maybe more time with other childen - I wouldn't call it playtime or playdate though!

Hope it passes soon.

I was thinking the same thing. DD can be quite the drama queen if something is "off" like this.

I also agree with the suggestion of having everything in sight and letting him choose for himself. I normally don't play with DD unless she specifically asks me too since I know that alone time with her toys are also important for her development too. Granted, some days she wants me there playing with her 24/7 but others she can play independently for long periods of times (especially if she's playing in a different room and doesn't see me).

Geomamma: I read your post like six times before I clued in to not calling it a "playdate" or "playtime." Then I thought "wow, how we use the word 'play' has been pretty far off the radar, eh?"

Colinsmum: He's actually just finished cutting a lot of teeth, so I'm thinking if it's molars, they must be some molars to be worse that what's just happened. 'course I thought exactly that about just about every tooth to date, so... (Also, I'm not sure that's really OT... but I'm a bit of a wholist ;))

I think I'm going to pay some better attention to how I use the word "play" part of this is that "play" is a recently aquired word (There's a long story about expressive language). It does not seem at all impossible that this is just another in a growing list of "no, really, what does X mean" frustrations. Most of them so far have been homophones, but I can see how this could be similar.

Thanks, guys.
-Mich