Thanks Grinity, as usual you make great points.
The call yesterday went ok, although I was more frustrated sounding than I wanted to be, but oh well. I was frustrated.
Fortunately this person's role is as the liaison between the folks who actually do the deciding and the parents and she is also pretty understanding.
She did pretty point-blank tell me that the teacher's assessment of ds10's work is as "a solid math student, capable of picking up new concepts" but not necessarily applying them in novel situations. I am not aware of ds being exposed to any novel work at the school, wouldn't that be nice?

He has probably brought home 2 homework assignments the entire year, so I might conclude that she doesn't seem to think he needs much repetition or practice, but then he tells me he finishes his homework in class (so doesn't she see that?).
She also said that the teacher's assessment was combined with the information from the house, and I guess averaged out. 5th grade work + 8th grade work = Not exceeding by 2 grade levels.
Without a single area where he exceeds by 2 grade levels he was not considered for anything, not even an achievement or ability test to be more conclusive.
Anyway, I said that although the committee might think they are following their rules it doesn't sound right to me. He had 94th percentile scores on the naglieri, which they put as an "exceeds in math", and I had tried to point out in my request that I wanted more testing because he was diagnosed with depression at the time of testing....figuring this would be considered. Apparently not. I suppose I could be mistaken about that, that a child who feels good is going to do better on this sort of testing, but I think it is a pretty reasonable conclusion.
"Good" news is I can appeal, it might takes weeks or months to get to the top of the queue, I will have to go in and present this material again, and additional work ds has done.
Which all sounds ok, except for the waiting part.
I of course have been wavering/doubting what is needed or right for ds way before this (since he was born, of course) but I think it is still a good idea to get in one more formal test to find out. (To quote Gene Kranz in Apollo 13, I don't want to 'make things worse by guessing')
I am wondering if it would be less stressful to just go back to some kind of outside test, I kind of get the impression that ds is 'over' the whole thing at this point, and I guess I am sick of pursuing it myself, but I thought, hey retest with a single test, and whatever the results, leave it at that and move on.
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She also said there isn't any higher option in 6th grade than pre-algebra, as far as she knows. I have heard differently. For instance I talked to one mom where her child was asked to move up for math acceleration.. Basically if they think they should do something, they have the flexibility to do it.
She also said they are restructuring the middle school gt program so she is not sure what would be offered, so in the end the whole thing could be for nothing.
I really can not believe how complicated this has gotten.