Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Wish us luck tomorrow!

Been a crazy and busy week. I asked the school principal if when the visiting psychologist came in they could assess DD 3.10 and was told that she was unsure since DD was not in the school system yet, but that she would check with the superintendent. I did not hear from her for 3 wekks, and was shocked Sunday night when I had a message from her on my machine saying to call her that night and schedual a time. So DD and I have met with the Developmental Psy for 2 hours Monday, most of which we talked, he took history, and DD played, then for an hour and 45 mins this afternoon, in which he did numerous math and reading tests, and asked her to draw numerous things, and talk about them, and he asked her questions. I was asked to bring in today recent drawings, things she has done, milestones lists, etc. He is taking tonight and tomorrow morning to "wrap his head around this" and make recomendations for how we can better serve her, where she is at across the board developmentally, and how the school could serve her.

He did say when I told him about her saying she "needs friends to fit me like my clothes fit me" that it was an amazing metaphor. She talked to him about it more, and he said it makes perfect since. Her age peers wont fit her. That she needs to be in groups with 7-8 year olds to at least start to have a fit in friendships, although cognitively the way she thinks will not be met by that age group, but the friendship part would be better suited.

So tomorrow we go in again, and I am anxious and nervous to hear what he has to say and what the administration has to say. He has stated several times that academically the school can not meet her needs and that I will have to continue to provide that need at home, and what we need to work on with the school district is getting her social needs met.

He did rule out Aspergers or anything on the spectrum and ADHD. So we have to talk about what we are seeing and if it is just from the giftedness.

Wish us luck tomorrow!

Good luck! Let us know what he says

Wow, very good news that you have even gotten this far. I do hope they have *something* that will work for her!!

Yippee - the school's determination to meet her social needs is admirable, and wonderful

I'm sure you haven't heard him correctly - and if you have, I recommend you act like you are sure you haven't heard him correctly.

I'm sure he meant that the school couldn't meet her needs with it's normal way of doing things. That is good that he could recognize this. It's very different from saying that you are responsible for meeting her academic needs at home. 3 hours of school for 'social development' a day is fine, but to ask her to spend 4 or more hours a day doing work that isn't in her readiness level is cruel.

Maybe they meant that you could find curricula that is at her readiness level, and she could do it during the school day as an independent study.

Maybe they meant that they would try placing her in an older classroom for Math or Reading.

But keep practicing - at home - you 'But no one could be so cruel as to keep a child years below her learning level for more than 3 hours a day?' and
'Surely if we look at what our school system offers, we can find unusual and creative ways to deliver the correct content at the correct time.'

I have a feeling that the school is going to try and meet you half way - which is great. Your job will be to make the connection that she has an emotional need to learn at her readiness level, preferably with other kids who at least for the moment are in the same readiness level.

I would have the psychologist or school contact Davidson's support group for educators - the Educator's Guild
http://www.davidsongifted.org/edguild/

I would also show the psychologist a print out of this page-
http://www.davidsongifted.org/young...holars___Qualification_Criteria_384.aspx
and ask if he can do any additonal testing you might need. It would be good for him to 'get' that kids like yours really do exist.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I don't know, I could just be jaded, but I had the GT coordinator for our local district tell me exactly that and mean it when dd12 was 7. She told me that they were "philosophically opposed" to meeting dd's academic needs and that she wasn't "going to last long in the public school system" and then inquired as to whether I had considered homeschooling her. Of course, she was on her way out (retiring) and maybe burned out with seeing things not get done. We have, none the less, managed to get her needs semi-reasonably met in public schools. It did take a few years before we got to that spot, but it is okay now.

So, what exactly are they proposing doing for your dd -- placing her in school for a part day with older kids to develop social skills and then have you do the academics at home? If so, I'd send her for "specials" only not the academic parts of the day. We did that with dd12 for a while when she was in 1st grade. She went for PE, computer lab, recess, art, etc. and we did the academics at home. Actually, we just kind of unschooled and let her decompress for our home part of the deal. We just read a lot.

Make sure you asked him very clearly what he meant by "rule out." The term has two meanings... opposite to each other. It sounds like he meant what you think he meant -- "I'm quite sure that's not the problem." But the other meaning of the term is, "I think that may very well be the problem but I can't be sure right now."

I would also read Miraca Gross's article "Play Partner or Sure Shelter" (you can easily find it by searching the title) on how asynchronous development affects the development of friendships. It sounds like she wants something in her friends that most kids her age aren't really equipped to provide -- it's a useful skill for her to learn to socialize with them, but they aren't likely to be the sources of the friends who "fit her."