Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Are you a gifted parent?

There are many ways to be gifted, of course, but there are also different approaches to learning. You and your son can both be gifted yet display characteristics that vary from one another if your learning preferences aren't the same.

There's a list of traits that you can take a look at that may help explain your uniqueness. Maybe you'll be able to tell if you're Auditory-Sequential or Visual-Spatial.

Just came in needing a think-fix, and so here's my story

I don't know. I was ID'd as gifted.

I DO know that DS's dad is a gifted parent. A PG one, to be precise. That DS's close relatives are... well... suffice it to say that their recent set of presents reveal a certain assumption that reading will happen imanently (DS is 1 3/4 years old). That's on both sides, even though I'm an only child and I did not read early -- and there's no communication between the two families. (I read late... but after a couple of months in remedial reading classes, was dismissed and given an adult-equivalent library card). DS was offered to play what I had assumed was an extreemely prized antique instrument at one relative's place, and I discovered (being shocked by the offer) that, oh, no, he BUILT the darned thing. Just felt like it, so he did.

I'm sure my mother and father were both gifted. My father was also LD, like me. So, I guess if I'm not smart, I'm the only one in living memory on either family tree.

DH thinks I am. And he's pretty smart, so he should know, right? Maybe. I really don't know. This moment, right now, I'm pretty convinced I'm not at all. But I certainly like to think. Is that related? Of course? Maybe? Nah, not at all?

I don't know if DS is gifted, either.

Maybe he's LD, though. We've even got a diagnosis. Uh. Kinda. At least he's already confusing diagnosticians, anyway.

I know I'm needing some help with this parenting thing that I ain't gettin' in the park down the street. I don't know if that's becasue of who I am or because of who DS is. I know the stuff said on here rings true, both about me, and about DS. I recently realized that it's a little odd that I remember trying to teach myself to read in secret becasue I though I'd get in trouble if my parents found out.

I know that I've got a lot of baggage I really really really need to work out NOT on DS. So if I'm not a gifted parent, I guess I'm a reasonable facsimilie thereof.

I know that I really, really, Really wish I knew more about myself and my history, and that I have no way to find out. I half want to go and get an IQ test done, just to see. Becuase I feel like I just don't understand myself well enough without knowing more about THIS.

And I know that I wish, intensely wish, that I didn't care. But I do care. It's very... strenuous.

-Mich.

I've known I was gifted since I was 11. We moved to a new school district, and I was tested, identified, skipped 7th grade and was placed in a school for the gifted.

Before that, though, I really had no idea. In fact, I thought I was stupid because I was quite socially inept and couldn't figure out how to relate to other kids. They teased me and called me stupid, so I believed them.

The new school changed my life, and even though I only went there for three years (we moved again,) I had the sense that there were other people like me in the world, and that I did belong somewhere.

Reading other people's posts here makes me glad that I do know my IQ and that it's commensurate with my other test scores and academic achievements. So I don't have any doubts about myself as a gifted person. Still, figuring out how to be myself and live my life is a work in progress!

I've really enjoyed reading these posts. I never knew about giftedness - other than the tv version of a child prodigy - until I had dd. I knew my dad was smartish, but kind of assumed he was normal. My family only really associated with educated people and I hated the educational aspect of school, so I figured I was at best, pretty dumb.

However, when dd was born and I started reading about giftedness I discovered all these descriptions of ME! It was a revelation. I can't spell well and never did particularly well at school, but I can confidently say I never tried - for me giving something a go was reading what ever scanty notes I took in class the night before an exam, that was literally the most effort I ever went to - and when I did put that effort in, I got As. I got a good pass in my final year of school, but goodness knows what I could have achieved! But people always openly called me an old soul and 'wise', but I always just felt weird.

I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum that I had a somewhat unsupported childhood and I sometimes wonder whether my brain power got channeled in to different skills - reading and understanding situations and people, for example, rather than my times tables. I certainly don't feel confident that I would do outstandingly well on an iq test.

When dd was tested, I shared the scores with some members of my family and it was revealed that all the members of my dad's family are pg. In hindsight I think 'of course', but I really only ever viewed them as normal. It was also revealed that I read early and was ahead in maths early on. I don't remember either of these things. I've always been better with abstract, global ideas rather than things like maths facts and I think because I struggled with those and spelling - the foundation skills from so early in school - I always assumed I was dumb. Even getting straight high distinctions at university (again, with little effort), didn't convince me I was capable.

But what I have learnt about giftedness has been such a relief! I finally feel in charge of my brain - though, and this might sound odd, I am now having to relearn how to use it! I am not brilliant at everything, but I am capable of anything I actually want to do. But it is pretty isolating. I suspect I'd already have a different view of the world to most if I had had a 'normal' - whatever that is - upbringing, but because of the experiences I have had, I have a different view of the world again. It means that even among other gifted people I feel pretty weird (hence the username!)

I was never identified as gifted. My father's side of the family is all PG - and in fact I can relate to much of your story Giftodd. Reading about giftedness in relation to my daughter certainly cleared up a lot issues for me (and presented a whole lot of new ones!)

This is so true for me.

Isn't that true?

Michaela,
It is very possible that you are gifted, and perhaps in some way not gifted at the same time. I don't know if you've heard about being 'twice exceptional' (being gifted and also having a learning disability) or not, but I noticed there's a thread about that here in this forum. It might help if you haven't seen it yet.

As an adult, I've found that it's much harder to be identified as gifted, mostly because the majority of the ways giftedness is screened for are predominantly done in a school setting. You can have an IQ test done, but to be honest, in the end it might not tell you that you're gifted anyway. Not because your IQ isn't high enough, but because there are many factors that define giftedness that won't show up in that test.

By the way, if you're gifted, you cannot be 'ungifted'. You might not be using what you have, but you don't really lose it, so if you were identified as gifted before then that means that you still are, even though you might have 'gotten out of practice'.

Here's a suggestion that might help. I have a website geared for gifted adults. I've found that many people who have come there have recognized themselves in the posts and as such have realized that they truly are gifted, even though they didn't have a recent specific test to prove it. Try taking a look around there and see what you find out. It may bring you, and your family, the relief you're looking for. It's called Gifted for Life and you can find it at http://giftedforlife.com.

I'd be interested to know how it goes if you'd like to share later. Best of luck!

Even if you weren't officially identified as gifted that doesn't mean that you aren't. Even with IQ tests people perform differently on them at different times, so ideally you would have to have had a series of IQ tests on various occasions to have a better idea if you qualify as gifted in terms of IQ.

The bigger part of being gifted, and the part that isn't easily measured, is the internal part - the intensity, the sensitivity, the high level of insight etc. Those things are much harder to measure, but certainly define a gifted individual.

If you look beyond the standard IQ measurement, would you consider yourself gifted? You may be the only one who really knows, depending on how much of your inner world you have shown the outer one. Any thoughts?

I don't think I am a gifted person. I've always had an easy time in school with the exception of math. I'm anti-gifted in math. I do believe my husband is some sort of gifted though. He just thinks really fast and is always fixing things and problem solving. Must be where my son gets it from