Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment I think I am gifted

I agree. People treat you strangely if you acknowledge giftedness. Over the past year, I participated in several gt parent seminars put on by our school district. Presumably, many parents in the room were at least MG. When I openly acknowledged being a gifted adult, people treated me like I was at a stereotypical 12-step program and I had acknowledged an addiction for the first time. People came up to me and told me how proud they were that I could acknowledge my giftedness and thanked me for being open. Really?!

My parents recognized that I was gifted before kindergarten and my grade school suggested grade acceleration multiple times. I have scored in the 99th percentile on almost every standardized test I have ever taken and recognize myself in much of the reading I have done on giftedness. Why is it strange for me to acknowledge this as part of myself? I see it as a fact like I have brown eyes. It is not something that I ponder, it just is. It would take a lot more energy to deny it.

Intelligence is an interesting trait because it can so easily lead to egotism and related problems. Parents post here about such things all the time.

I wouldn't suggest hiding it from one's self, but I also don't think it's the best idea to openly put one's giftedness out there in all settings, no. There is a big likelihood that non-gifted people will think that you are saying you are better than them (and you are, in one way), and react negatively. And it's hard to say that such reactions are wrong; when one person chooses to talk about the extent of their intelligence, they often are bragging, whether well-founded or not. There is also a chance of attracting the attention of aggressive people who want to prove themselves against you in one way or another; I sometimes take pleasure in competition with those people, but don't need constant confrontation to feel good about myself either.

I simply think it's easiest and best to let one's actions speak for themselves, most of the time. I also don't think that giftedness is an aspect of cultural identity in the same way as membership in an ethnic group, for instance. My idea is not so much about hiding one's self, as about not actively promoting an aspect in a way that's bound to cause friction.

Hi floflo,

I really enjoyed reading your introduction. I really feel like you are a kinder spirit. I was never tested as a child and had many of the same experiences as you. I still don't feel comfortable proclaiming myself gifted but when talking to people I have always used the 'Renaissance Man' identity. I am not the 'typical' female and have many passions which includes woodworking and building furniture. I love tools and until recently had quite a collection. (We sold them to make room for our boat.) I'm also an artist and enjoy painting. My career has been an interesting one in that I am very technical which led to engineering and consulting. Even in college I explored many subjects and had many credits to show for it. At one point I was asked to change my major to Math but I didn't find it challenging and stayed in the arts.

I really hope you stick around and share with us your self discovery.

Katelyns mom and flo flo, I also feel like a kindered spirit. I was diagnosed as highly gifted as a child but my mom wouldn't allow me to be part of the "MGM" (Mentally Gifted Minors) program because she didn't want me to think I was better than others(!) I don't identify with most women and I love power tools and restoring houses as a hobby. My husband loves that he can buy me power tools for Christmas :-). I also ended up in an Engineering consulting firm (as a planner). Have you gals read "Aspergirls" by Rudy Simone? I just read it due to some issues with my daughter and it totally describes the androgynous/anti stereotype issues along with a lot of other things I always thought were just my little quirks. Very interesting stuff.

I've heard of the book but haven't read it yet. You have peaked my interest! Adding it to my list. Thanks!

Hi floflo,
Welcome!

Just a few thoughts:

Math is taught in chunks, linearly, and repeated to death in most schools -- many talented children are bored to death and never get to love math.

Many top talented women would never admit to liking "traditionally masculine" things because many talented girls learned very early -- by Kindergarten - Grade 2 -- that being smart and capable is not really acceptable for girls. This is re-enforced by middle-school and only a girl with a very strong internal compass could withstand highschool peer pressure to stay true to oneself -- but it is at a great cost to that same self (imho). Part of the problem too is the world likes to define things as masculine versus feminine. Sigh.

Find other gentle souls -- there are non-gifted souls who are bright but because they are well-travelled and have met many people they are accepting of many different people. They accept and love themselves, so they can accept you and love you too. (Hmm, perhaps they don't have to be well-travelled at all, just that they've learned to accept people.)

I would recommend not using "gifted" when hanging around non-gifted. You could always just say you're good with attention to detail.

It is good to understand yourself because from there, it is a stepping stone to self-improvement and better relationships. Wishing you well!

Alert: lots of generalisations about what "most people" think follow. I'm leaving them because I think they're relevant and true, but feel free to disagree :-)

Well, yes, lots. Let's start with "from others" and go on to "from the self" in a moment. In general, it isn't socially acceptable, except in very limited and special circumstances (job interviews!), to say that one is better than other people at anything, from running to knitting to resolving arguments- at least not without some kind of deprecatory disclaimer such as "if I do say it myself". To claim to be "gifted" is to say that one is better than other people at thinking, and that's why it isn't socially acceptable.

Is it "an aspect of identity that should be hidden... from the self?" Well, what things go into one's "identity"? I suppose, statements about oneself that one considers to be both true and important, especially, important to grouping one with people who one feels are like oneself and differentiating oneself from people who one feels are not like oneself. I suggest that while we may be comfortable with the idea that we should be honest enough to accept as true statements about what we're better than other people at, most people including me are uncomfortable with the idea that those statement should be among the most important things about us.

For example, I'm quite happy to say that part of my identity is that I enjoy mathematics, but I wouldn't want to say (or even think :-) that part of my identity is that I'm good at it, even though I am. Indeed, I feel much more affinity with someone who enjoys mathematics but is not very talented at it, than I do with someone who is good at it but does not enjoy it.

I tend to feel that if someone's identity is bound up with being better than other people at something, they're likely to be making comparisons between how good they are at it and how good people they meet are at it, and regardless of how I'd fare in the comparison I react against that. At any event I am intuitively repelled by adults identifying as "gifted", even though intellectually I understand that there might be good reasons for doing so, such as needing to accept that that label is true, or wanting a way to meet people with similar interests.

In my initial typing of this post I wrote "good at" where I now have "better than other people at". I changed it because I think it really is the comparison aspect that makes "gifted" problematic. It's iffy to define oneself by comparison with other people: we tend to feel that identity should be internal. But there's more to it than this; "gifted" feels to me to be even more "off" as part of identity than "good at mathematics" would be. I think this is because of how very general the word "gifted" is. When I think about things people might say they were good at, it seems to me that there's a tendency for this to be more acceptable the fewer other people choose to attempt whatever it is. Compare your immediate reactions to "I'm brilliant at making raspberry and parsnip soup" with "I'm brilliant at making mushroom soup" for example, or "I'm brilliant at hnafenetl" with "I'm brilliant at chess".

In summary, I submit it's not that we think being gifted should be hidden from the self, but that we're suspicious of people who find it important enough to be "an aspect of identity".

I wouldn't think i think better than you, to someone. �I do believe, and have always believed, in some form, that I am more interested in finding out all the truth I can, and I am more eager and willing to share what I have found and what I �am trying to understand or piece togeather, and that I am interested in understanding what insight anyone offers up, although I always want pick and pick at it and dig through it and it bothers some, no, most people when you dig that deep and don't just "let it go". �I would say I think more often and longer than most people. �But I guess if you waste a lot of time doing something it probably does make you better at it. �It's not really bragging unless you do something spectacular, then you're just showing off.

Anybody who says they're anything at all at hnefnatafl gets points. Just sain'

(sorry... you folks can get back to the point now... but I'm around, if you're in the market for a repro set )

-Mich

your responses have so much information. I can relate to a lot said. Jesse, I would never use the word gifted ever...hehe...that's why I'm posting in this forum. I do not think I'm better than someone else but I do think that everyone can become more self-aware and when they don't I question it. Not from an intelligence perspective but from a choice perspective. Like La Texican said..

"I do believe, and have always believed, in some form, that I am more interested in finding out all the truth I can, and I am more eager and willing to share what I have found and what I am trying to understand or piece togeather, and that I am interested in understanding what insight anyone offers up, although I always want pick and pick at it and dig through it and it bothers some, no, most people when you dig that deep and don't just "let it go"."