Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional 2E or ND ADHD?

I have three great little girls. My oldest is 5 and is PG. My youngest (20 months) seems to be following in her oldest sisters footsteps as we just discovered this weekend that she is beginning to read (decode and comprehend). The oldest and the youngest are so similar in that I think the reason why they were so advanced so young is because they have excellent memories combined with laser-like focus and an extreme love of books.

My question is about my middle daughter who is three, and is just very different. And I don't know if it is because that is because she is a "normal" three year old and my others are decidedly not normal or if there is something wrong. She is just incredibly, off the walls, hyperactive. If she is going anywhere, she is running. Fast. She has the attention span of a fly - she jumps from thing to thing to thing. If she is at home, she will play with absolutely every single toy there is - then run outside and play with some of those too. She told me the other day how much she hates story time at preschool because she cannot stand to sit and listen to the story when there are so many other cool toys to play with. I feel like I should be reading books to her at home (that's what good moms do right?) but from birth she has been totally unable to sit and focus on a story (or watch a dvd). I feel like she is ADD/ADHD.

She is far behind where my oldest one was at this point, and now the little one is starting to leap frog her. But when I see other three year olds and I see what they are doing in pre-school (making a mess out of glue and paper), she fits in just fine. I am not sure if she would do better if we medicated her, but my guess would be that she would. I'm not sure it matters at 3.5 and I'm not sure if it is even remotely appropriate to medicate a 3.5 year old. I also don't know how you can tell if a child is gifted when they are so severely hyperactive that they are unable to focus on anything for more than a nanosecond. If she does turn out to be ND ADHD, I would think that it would be really tough to have two sisters on either side of you that are so out there in terms of ability. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

One thing to keep in mind is that gifted children are famous for taking great leaps in their development. So it's great that you are preparing yourself for any future problems that might develop, but for now there isn't much to do - except praise every tiny bit of self-control you see in your DD3. Praise all the sustained focus you see, even if 'sustained' only means a full second.
(More in 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook' by Lisa Bravo if this approach interest you.)

I would firmly maintian the unspoken attitude that all my children are equally bright, but are using it in different ways, and therefore there is no need to make comparisons. The point of humans is that although we are mostly alike, that is also what Spock from Star Trek would call: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations


I call it: 'Every child IS a gift.' Your oldest's and youngest's giftedness seem to be taking fairly convential paths (for us here, LOL) and time will tell where DD3's path will lead.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

My opinion would be, as you have in your mind already, she is too young to know what her intelligence level is accurately, too young to diagnose ADHD, too young to medicate. If indeed she's behaving like normally developing age-mates, I don't see what the problem is. That doesn't mean she doesn't have a level of intelligence similar to her sisters. Maybe she's a later bloomer and will turn out to have an even higher intelligence level. You may not know for a few more years.

Enjoy your interesting girls and be patient. It's great that you're keeping a watchful eye. Also keep in mind that there are plenty of other issues that have similar-appearing symptoms to ADHD (see e.g., the Eides' The Mislabeled Child for discussion)

I am all for diagnosing ADHD if it becomes a barrier to learning and life. But at age 3, she is still developing and growing. I agree with the others, anything can happen. Keep in mind that younger kids are very hard to evaluate - IQ is developing in fits and spurts and they are supposed to be active and less focused.

Once she hits school, if there are major issues, then you may want to pursue your concerns. But for now, enjoy her exuberance!

From the time my DS was about 3 months until he turned about 2 and a half I had major concerns because I thought that he was missing his developmental milestones, but in retrospect I was comparing him to his sister. Why didn't he talk before the ripe old age of 1? Why is he not at all interested in books, learning letters sounds, numbers.... on and on. I hauled him off to see the doctor, the speech pathologist only to find out that he was technically ahead, it was just that he was absolutely not like his sister. Last week he started to listen to books from cover to cover at 3!!!. Last night he asked me to read him The Wizard of Oz, a copy that had no illustrations. The other funny thing is that he pretends not to know certain things, like the names of colours. For the longest time I thought that he was colour blind, because, when asked about a particular colour he would always give the wrong name. But if he is describing something because he wants or needs it, amazingly he is completely accurate. And, his attention span up until recently was comparable to a fruit fly. Go figure...

As is often the case, I agree with all of the posts so far.

A.