Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Overwhelmed with lack of options/understanding

I am hoping that some here with experience can help me out and give me some advice on what I need to do.

My DS9, is highly gifted with ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. He attends 4th grade at a public school and is in the GATE pull out program (only 3 hours a week). He has all the quirks that go along with giftedness, as well as the ADHD and GAD. We are working to put a plan in place for when he starts middle school next year and are running into many frustrations.

I have been trying to communicate with the school for the past two years on his needs not being met and have been given every excuse in the book and lots of run around. We finally got a meeting with the new principal, who seems a bit baffled as to why we would want a IEP. While she has agreed to get the ball rolling on it, she is pushing more towards a 504 plan. I am torn as to which would benefit my son more. She seems to think that since his grades are good, it appears that he has no problems in the classroom and therefore, we would have a hard time getting an IEP.

The problem is, he does have problems in the classroom related to all three of his differences. He is no where near being challenged, if anything he is being dumbed-down. He has social issues because he is different from the other students. He has anxiety because, well because he does, but it's triggered by issues from being bored and different and ADD. It does affect him, in the classroom and at home.

She is also pushing for us to try to get him into a magnet school next year and we feel very strongly that that is not the best option for him, at this time. Right now, he hates school and he's not a good student. I don't see how putting him in an environment where he is not necessarily going to be challenged, but rather expected to be a good student and ready to learn, is going to help him at all. I cannot make the principal understand this. She thinks he will be fine. She has spent all of five minute with him.

So right now, we have to make a couple of decisions. First, what do we do next year? Continue in public school with an IEP or 504, go with the $30k/year private school where every kid has an IEP or homeschool? Then we have to decide, IF we stay in the public school system, do we go with the IEP or the 504 and what do we ask for?

Like I said before, I'm hoping maybe some more experienced parents can advise me on this and give me your thoughts. We are playing catch up, due to my naivety in thinking his school would actually give him what he needed. I am ready to advocate for him as much or more as I need to, I just need some guidance on where to begin.

Welcome!!! The first thing I'd say is to check on your state mandates. If you're in a mandated state an IEP is likely to give you more protections than a 504 plan. At least that is how it is in my state. Although I'm finding that just because the mandates are there doesn't mean they will automatically follow them. I'm having to read everything, and advocate within their rules. Seems to be working, talk to me in a year and I'll know

Once you check state mandates, then go on your district website and start checking district rules and regulations. Knowing their language and actual written policies has been huge for me!

Good luck!!!

Welcome!!! I just wanted to chime in with a couple questions since you're asking about future schooling options. You mention public school, the charter, private school, and homeschooling. Are all of these true options for you? Would you prefer he stay where he is but would consider other options if absolutely necessary? Are you currently leaning in no specific direction? Can you tell us a bit more about the charter and private school options? Also, is the GT Coordinator of any help with advocating for your DS? What does his teacher say? If you can tell us a bit more about these things it might help us to try to help you. And we would love to help!

Hi maggieb,

--An IEP covers accommodations and services. Services are provided by people like PT, OT, speech, reading specialists, and special ed teachers, and cost money. Accommodations are adjustments to work that typically are done by the regular teacher without adding any extra personnel. A 504 plan only allows for accommodations in most cases, not services. If he needs any therapies, including help for managing the anxiety, go for the IEP.

--What are the specific needs you are trying to meet, and can they be met through accommodations, or will they require services?

--How sure are you that the social problems are due to being different? (As opposed to a disorder of social skills?) I ask because my DS's giftedness masked his Asperger's for a long time before we could finally figure him out. Sometimes there is both giftedness and a disorder involving social capacities.

--Is subject acceleration or some other solution possible in your current school that might help with the boredom issue? Would these be more or less of this kind of option available in the magnet school? Can you find out why the principal thinks this is a good fit, in detail?

--What does he hate about school-- can he say?

--Does your DS do better work in the GATE pullout than elsewhere? If so, can that teacher advocate for him or help you devise an appropriate plan?

DeeDee