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And (gasp!) so what if sports are some families priority...not everyone is academically gifted...perhaps, for some children, sports are their ticket to personal growth and fulfillment and college...who knows? We're all dealing with exceptionally bright children. Some parents are dealing with exceptionally coordinated and athletic children. It is possible to be a gifted athlete.
The chances of a kid making it in sports is near zero vs making it in academics. A reasonably bright kid CAN become a degreed professional in almost any field. All of my HS friends have done very well - MDs, PHDs, etc, even though most were not super-gifted.
NONE of my HS classmates who played sports seriously made it in the pros and none were on top college teams or placed in the top 50 in their sports their Senior year in college. Most of these people worked VERY HARD at sports during HS while the rest of us studied.
So, it is an illusion to focus on sports when success in life requires success in non-sports venues. For most kids, it is a massive waste of time and sets kids up for disillusionment.
I know a man who played walk-on baseball at a top baseball school as a freshman. I was roommates with a starter as a sophomore at UT in football. I work out with retired pro athletes. They tell very specific childhood stories about phenomenal athletic feats - throwing the baseball 50 yards, outrunning kids twice their age, benching 200 lbs when they were 12, beating kids twice their age on the tennis court.
My baseball friend just laughs at families who spend most of the their discretionary income and free time on sports. All of his sons are very good athletes, but he stresses academics over sports and limits their sports practice to an hour a day while making them study a lot more.
The downside is debilitating injuries as well. A DW's uncle is so messed up from HS football that he can barely walk and the concussions he suffered have rendered him barely functional. My knees are messed up from HS football and my neck bothers me on occasion.
Nothing wrong with sports, but most kids would be better off hitting the books instead of the practice field.
The good side of sports for me growing up was that it allowed me to connect with my age peers whom I otherwise had nothing in common. I got respect from them when they otherwise would have tried to pick on me. By association, my geeky friends were mostly left alone.
Aw come on Austin, I don't think that we need to lecture each other on the dangers of sports. Every kid is different and every parent is different. Plenty of unusually gifted kids make the most of their years in High School because they love their sports teams. Lots of wonderful life lessons in teamwork and hard word and social skills are learned in the context of team sports. I don't think the lack of odds of a career in professional sports is a fair argument. What about the kids who go on to become sports agents, sports doctors, sports lawyers, statisticians, sports writers, etc.
Love and More Love, Grinity - who was on the Fencing team in High School for a while.
Austin, I don't disagree with anything you've said but I think that physical compentancies are a very important component of quality of life. I'm not saying they are more or less important than academics - I don't think you can compare the two. But I think that the returns to a child from sports don't begin to diminish until they've reached a very high level.
I believe that working hard and achieving at a high level at anything yields more benefits to a person's character than dotting the i's and crossing the t's and getting a B+ average.
Personally, I was an exceptionally BAD student but a very good athlete who worked hard at it. If I hadn't been an athlete I still would have been an exceptionally bad student. I think I would be in a very bad place today if I hadn't had the opportunity as a child to be an athlete. It taught me how to work hard and it exposed me to a caliber of peers that I would not have had otherwise.
And don't even get me started on the obesity epidemic....
"The real opportunity is taking advantage of how eager institutions are to reward good students,� he said. �In America�s colleges, there is a system of discounting for academic achievement. Most people with good academic records aren�t paying full sticker price. We don�t want people to stop playing sports; it�s good for them. But the best opportunity available is to try to improve one�s academic qualifications.� The math of athletic scholarships is complicated and widely misunderstood.
JaneSmith, it's National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month so go for it!
If we're going to make a dent in our country's obesity epidemic, I'd like to see a shift in our focus from organized team sports that most people give up playing as they get older to sports that can be pursued for life. Baseball and football vs. swimming, biking and running. Healthy food would help too.
Aw come on Austin, I don't think that we need to lecture each other on the dangers of sports.
Understood and I agree. I love sports. I play on two soccer teams and work out every day.
But let me argue this point another way.
Some kids find a career in sports professions, but most do not. Had they realistically assessed their options, they'd have been much better off hitting the books.
We are a sports-dominated society that owes its existence and progress to intellectuals, most of whom are treated rather poorly, and to a highly educated workforce able to take direction from intellectuals. This poor treatment is supported by many of our institutions and is deeply embedded in our culture.
This poor treatment of academics and over emphasis on sports short changes the less capable by wasting their limited time and abilities on a dead end activity and diverting attention and resources from education.
Austin, It's easy for your friend to laugh at families spending money and free time on sports...His sons are already very good athletes and I'm guessing, probably don't have to work as hard as others to keep their spot on the team. My son is hghly gifted and pitches for a top national traveling team. It's the only thing that keeps him somewhat accepted and respected by his peers. His academic smarts don't, unfortunately. BUT...He does have to work hard on his baseball...So we have turned into those parents who DO spend the extra money and most of our free time on his sport. Right now, it's our son's social lifeline. He LOVES it and it makes him so HAPPY. You should tell your friend not to laugh at others...
What this thread reminds me of is how sensitive kids are to their parent's dreams and desires. I think that what really hurts kids, with sports or academics, is the situation where the parent really NEEDS the child to be successful for their own ego needs.
OTOH, lots of kids I know need very strong encouragement for any kind of achievement, and that could look like pushing from the outside. Or even in the eyes of the child.
And from the inside, how do we ever know if we are meeting the child's needs or our own ego needs?
Ug! no clean answers when it comes to being a parent, yes? We are going to have to feel our own way here, say a prayer, and hope for the best. At least if we can talk it over, here or else where, we have a better chance of getting it 'right enough.'
It's hard to argue what 'other people's kids' should or shouldn't be encouraged to do. Anyone with enough spare energy to get into the school and mentor other peoples kids has me cheering, but for the most of us, doing the best we can for our own kids is exactly where we need to start. Or let's brainstorm ways to change the anti-intellectual nature of American culture.
First let me say thanks for the supportive replies to my post. Obviously, I'm fairly new to this board and don't often post. I respect that we're all on this board searching for answers on how best to raise our gifted children. I've read so many insightful observations...I really appreciate the informed and intelligent points of view expressed here. After I posted, I was concerned that I may have (inadvertantly) stepped on some toes. Relieved to know that different perspectives are accepted!
Austin, I agree that our society places too much emphasis on sports. And we all know parents who are CRAZY about how they handle their children's early sports lives. It's a shame...but it is reality...and I don't see it changing soon. I would love to live in a society that granted more academic scholarships than athletic and that, later, paid teachers and scientists MORE than football and basketball stars. Imagine!!!! Wow!
But, for now, the truth is that those who find success in sports (and entertainment) are highly rewarded with fame and money. So people will continue to go after the "glory." Only a few will actually become pro's...but only a few, too, will suffer debilitating injuries. Most will fall somewhere in between...perhaps find a sport they use for exercise or relaxation as adults...or as a social venue to get through school or work.
I do speak from experience in this area, as well. Our DD (21) is a senior in college and plays Division I tennis on a full ride in the ACC (the most competitive tennis division in college.) She graduated from high school with a 4.0 unweighted gpa and receives a Presidential Academic scholarship in addition to her full athletic scholarship. We noticed early on that she was a talented athlete, as well as a successful student. Neither of us play tennis, but we put her in a local program to find a sport she could enjoy for a "lifetime." Little did we know the road it would send us on...but we did know from personal experience that being smart was no ticket to free college tuition. Right or wrong (and it is WRONG!), colleges hand out far more money to athletes than to scholars. So, we made a deal with her that as long as she maintained her grades while taking the highest academic courses offered, we'd pay for the training and travel involved to foster her tennis talent. We knew we were taking a risk...and that she could quit with an injury or lack of success at any time. It worked for us and to this day she works very hard at both her sport and her school work. As a result, she will graduate from college debt free and ready to enter medical school next year. And, for the record, she has dozens of friends across the country who have used their sport to pay for highly academically competitive colleges (USC, Duke, Michigan, Maryland,Clemson...to name a few.) Bright, independent young women with bright futures, mostly away from sports.
And, of course, through the years, we've run into crazy people, pushing their daughters to achieve when it was obvious the girls weren't truly interested or talented. We know plenty of players who burned out early or quit and moved on after their parents had spent thousands on tennis, soccer, etc. It is a risk. But so is private school. Or homeschool. Or music school. Sometimes, you have to go for it and give it a try. Eventually, sometimes through failure, we find the right path for our child.
Anyway, sorry to get so off topic from the original post on academic red shirting. AGAIN, these are simply my experiences and observations. My internal "red flag" is generally raised when anyone asserts that the way someone else is raising their child MUST be wrong simply because it is different from their choices! We've certainly had our doubts through the years, and made our mistakes, but always with our children's best interest in mind. Any decision about our children can be difficult (who WANTS to make a mistake?), but I've found that it's much worse when others find the need to jump in and say I am wrong without knowing the facts first. A "one size fits all policy" almost never works. I hope we can all keep that in mind before we judge how someone else chooses to raise their children! I've been parenting for 21 years (how can I still be so young!) and I read boards like this one to get new perspectives everyday. Always more to learn and new ways to see things. Thanks!
First let me say thanks for the supportive replies to my post. Obviously, I'm fairly new to this board and don't often post. I respect that we're all on this board searching for answers on how best to raise our gifted children. I've read so many insightful observations...I really appreciate the informed and intelligent points of view expressed here. After I posted, I was concerned that I may have (inadvertantly) stepped on some toes. Relieved to know that different perspectives are accepted! 