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My 7 year old has been identified as gifted and has had a difficult time in school. At the reccomendation of the school I had him evaluated by a psychiatrist who has diagnosed him with ADHD and depression. The depression seems to stem mainly from boredom and frustration with school and an acute awareness that he is different from his peers. He is gradually becoming less withdrawn and participating more in class thanks to medication and increased diffictulty of school work. Improvement has been slow and the district is very intent on doing more testing and diagnosing him with something. Any ideas on how to deal with the school district?

Peggy you said <<My 7 year old has been identified as gifted and has had a difficult time in school. At the reccomendation of the school I had him evaluated by a psychiatrist who has diagnosed him with ADHD and depression.>>

Have you asked the school to refer your son for Special Education? In that manner teachers, along with you, will be required to draft an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for him. Since he is GT it is important not to forget to focus on his strengths and interests in order to excite him about school and learning.

My daughter came down with depression when she had just turned fourteen. I had no idea she could qualify for Special Ed. I just happened to come across a book by Jeffrey Miller called The Childhood Depression Sourcebook. Your library may have it or you may find a cheaper second hand copy on Amazon.com or Alibris.com.
It turned out she qualified for SPED but unfortunately this intervention was too little and too late for her. After many years of depression for which she was treated with Zoloft, individual as well as family counseling, she is now at 21 majoring in philosophy. She will never be happy with the condition of this world and the many people in it who seemingly do not care about environmental issues, but she is trying to cope as best as she can. She too had no peers (still doesn't) and feels different. The best thing you can do for your son is to always be supportive of him and to nurture him so he can feel safe at home with people who love him and accept him. He may have a hard road ahead of him and if it turns out that school makes him very unhappy you should consider pulling him out to home school. That way he can freely develop his interests while learning basics (and beyond) at the same time. In hindsight I wished I had taken my daughter out of school. Both my kids, now 21 and 18, say that school has been a great waste of time for them and I believe them.
Do realize though that teachers do not always follow through with adaptations on the IEP so I suggest you build a relationship of trust with your son's teacher so that communication and the effort of helping him in school will be productive.

A key to dealing with any school district is getting people and material other than "what the parents think" assembled for the school to consider. As a parent I have found that school try to value parent's perspectives, but that providing them with outside experts takes a lot of pressure off of them.

Another key is to have ready made solutions availible to the problems you are bringing to their attention.

Another key is to expect things to go slowly.

The more you can educate yourself on the nature of giftedness the better. My son,9, and I "discuss" the difference between "gifted" and "smart" from a kid's perspective:

Smart kids are good at school. They can get on a teacher's wavelength and answer test questions corectly and completely.

Gifted kids learn some subjects really fast and know alot and have a lot of ideas. Gifted kids see things from their own unique perspectives. Gifted kids might do well on tests or not. Sometimes gifted kids waste all their time looking for hidden meaning on easy questions. Gifted kids really like to learn new things and hate to spend time reviewing what they already know.

Best Wishes - Trinity

Addministrators are dispicable! Peggy, you should try looking into special schooling programs, that will nurture your son's desire to learn, and take care of his disabilities. Also, if your son was challenged, and in a better enviroment, he might overcome his depression.

my son is in first grade he sometimes sit all day in school and refuses to do his work. He is extreamly smart but not showing it in school.
I dont understand why he refuses, because he knows all the work.Why doentn't he show them what he can do. His report card is terrible.
what makes me angy is that the work consist of things he's learned since he was 3 years old.
I am certain that he is profoundly gifted but the school refuses to test. what can i do

(I'm sorry this is long!) Deeyana, trust your instinct. Please don't let your son continue in an environment which is not working for him. Early intervention can make all the difference -- it's much better to intervene early than to have to heal from bad experiences and unlearn bad habits. I would suggest that you continue to ask the school -- politely yet persistently -- to arrange for an evaluation. Please be aware that many educators do not have accurate information about giftedness, and so, do exercise caution so that your son will not be mis-labeled with some learning disorder. There's much research that shows that parents DO know their children's abilities and weaknesses -- contrary to that old saw, "all parents think their kids are gifted." That turns out not to be true. For other resources, please see http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/; contact your local Mensa for help finding someone who can test your son. Be sure you know what you want for your son -- grade acceleration? Program enrichment? These are very different options. I have three gifted children -- and I can tell you that overcoming bad experiences has been really difficult. Educators with the very best intentions did not help me challenge my son -- and I conceded, sad to say, to the accommodations they provided, even though I knew in my heart that these were not sufficient. Too many years languishing in boring classes taught my son too many bad habits. He wants to learn, and is eager -- and is really struggling to re-learn the motivation which was "taught" out of him when he was younger. Remember that there is an important balance between teaching in patience, versus teaching out initiative. Too often, our kids have their initiative beaten out of them, for the sake of teaching them to conform to classroom norms (for the convenience of the teachers and the rest of the class, a short-sighted objective). My son has been taught so well to be patient, that he has learned helplessness. Surely this was not what was intended -- I know that, and I fully accept my culpability for not having done more for him, myself. In my defense, I tried -- kept trying -- there were other issues, and I had limited resources, and I could only push so hard. But what I am saying is that you, and only you, can and must advocate for your child. No matter how nice or kind your educators are, and no matter how high their intentions, nevertheless only you can know and advocate for your child. Don't rely on them to tell you it's working -- get in there and find out. Show faith and confidence in your son -- this will teach him to have confidence in himself. Some practical suggestions: get to know your local library very well; join your local gifted education groups; explore private schools and homeschool options. Don't think you don't have the money -- there are scholarships. You can do it. This is the advice I wish I'd had -- go for it; do it; make it happen. You can't undo this, once it's done -- and the situation is urgent, because your son is growing and needs you, and his education, right now, this year. Good luck!!

Thank you Atlanta for your responce.I in no way intend to give up on my son.I in no way intend to stop asking. I've stumbled across The Florida Gifted program website. It states that a parent has the right to request thier child to be tested.(They have denied me that right)I've also been in contact with a childern rights avocate.
We will be approaching the school and demand them to give him the test.And weather he is gifted or not they must find a plan that suits him. However my first priority is an IQ test.I will not give them the chance to mislable him.

I am sooo fustrated. the first time I asked the principle, she said my son was not gifted. she said that what my son needed was to be spanked.
when I asked the assisant principle, She told me that the list for the test was long with kids that are doing good in school . And that my son didn't deserve to be on the list.

My son is not a bad kid.He's not disruptive or disrespectfull. He sit quietly in his chair and doesn't partisipate.he has been sent home many times for this and that is not the solution.

I feel that everyone at school is misunderstanding and underestimating him. It is really depressing. Everday, I sent him off to school hoping that he'll have a good day. I'm even afraid to answer the phone.Mentally, I can't
take another complaint. I can not keep punishing him everyday. It is exusting me and It's not working anyway.

Deeyana -
I saddens me to hear how things are going at school for your son. We just suffered through. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have. Can you keep him home with you? with a relative? once a week? temporarily, for the school to see that you are serious?
I know that some states can get scary over keeping them home, but if you can do it safely, it seems like now is the time.
Love and more love

Peggy - you say your son was tested and identified as Gifted. Do you mind if I ask, how gifted is he? Our testing didn't give any info on this, and it's really important. What kind of Zebra have you got there? I'm sorry he's not well.

Hello Trinity
I been waiting two months for a test to see if he quilifies for a program for extra help in writing. There is a pyscological test and an IQ test preformed with this test.After these test are done they will see if an IEP is needed.

Last week the pyscologist was ready to give him the test.But after reviewing his file,He found that my son is an ESL student. Only an ESL pyscologist can give him the test. So now i have to wait an additional 2-3 months.

Monday the school informed me that they dont think my son understands english!!!!!I tried to explain to them that english is our first language.The school is starting to think that there is something really wronge with him.They have already mentioned ADD, ADHD,APD,learning disability,And now they think he doesn't understand english!

I had a very emotional day last week.I asked my son what he had done at school that day. He told me every single reading question, evey single math problem with the correct anwers and in the correct order.Then I opened his backpack and found all his class work sheets blank! Forsure the school thinks I'm crazy.They think he does'nt understand english. What I am I going to do with him.

Keeping him home a few days is not going to make a differance.I am trying to take this one day at a time . But there's something new every day!

Hi Deeyana -
I'm good with one day at a time! Is the psychologist at the district level or the school level? Have you explored going to the district level and talking with someone there?
Does your state have special education office? You may be able to get free help there. I believe that there is a rule somewhere that if you submit a request for special ed evaluation in writing that they are required to do on with in 45 days. http://www.wrightslaw.com/ is a good resource for special ed needs. Even though you and I don't think your child has any other exceptionality, if the school thinks so then they have to get busy. If nothing is done for much longer, you may have real special ed needs to deal with: Depression.

For what it's worth my son had a rocky, but acceptable 1st grade, followed by an awful 2nd grade. We had him privatly tested for IQ and achhievement and had numbers that qualified him for Davidson Young Scholars, and still went hunting for ADHD or LD to explain his behavior. Our private child psychologist said, "Well, perhaps he's a bit bored."

Can you have a heart to heart with the principle and see if you can have your son placed with a 2nd grade teacher temporarily until the testing can be accomplished? I don't know if they will say yes, but your son sure doesn't seem to be getting much out of 1st grade.

Love and More Love