Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How much is too much, or where is the line

Perhaps others who have traveled this road may be of some help. DS7 skipped to 3rd grade is out of school for the summer. His strengths are Math and Science, his area that is not as strong is writing. Last year we talked with him about taking a 3 week course during the summer through CTY. He liked the idea, we then talked about which one to take, he decided to try, Explorations in Writing: Stories and Poems for grades 2 to 3. The course is a good one but requires a lot of writing and the homework is longer then he is used to. Typically homework was 10min to 30min while in public school. This course is 2 hours of homework. They are in class from 9am to 4pm on this one subject. There are fun parts to the class, they get the usual breaks, and it seems that many kids like the program. Except our DS7, he really dislikes writing short stories. Their assignment on Friday was to write a 5 page handwritten story of their own choice due on Monday, then this week the need to do a 6 page story with Dialogue internal and external, Similes, metaphors, personification, and alliteration. Their must be both an internal and external conflict, flat and round characters. This is the first time he has been really pushed into something he is not strong at (Just barely made CTY cut off for language arts test score). My dilemma is that he really is fighting the writing part, reading and poetry is ok. I want him to learn how to stick it out and finish what he starts, but I also want him to learn to enjoy writing. I also want him to have a fun summer, he has cousins that are also out of school, playing video games and playing, where he is driven an hour to school and back and does 2 hours of home work, With weekend homework. My belief is that he has about 1 and � weeks to go, just tough it out and do your best. However another side of me says this should be fun, not work. Complete what you can, or maybe even just not complete the course. I know that overcoming challenges is a great way to build character, but at what point is too much, I do not want to drive him away from writing. Any ideas or suggestions are appreciated. As you can tell, writing is also my weakest subject, and thank god for spell check.

Have you spoken to the teacher?

My 9 year old scored high on CTY verbal and writes short stories all the time. Honestly he would be miserable doing that in June while the weather was beautiful and his friends were at the beach or playing soccer. Especially having to come home and put in another couple hours! On the other hand, if it was a robotics class or a write your own video game class, he'd probably love it.

The part that is hard is the writing piece, right? Would they let him dictate it to you, and let you type it up? Could you help him plan - let him think out loud while you take notes? It sounds like a fantastic and challenging class. But I'm not sure they're accounting for the asynchronous nature of some GT kids?! So I agree you should talk to the teacher.

It's a great question 'should summer be for fun?'

I would submit that in the best of all possible worlds - there 'should' be a reasonable amount of challenge during the school year, and there 'should' be easy access to playmates who are peer both in age and intellect. If both of those conditions are met, then sure, summer should be for whatever the individual finds fun.

Sad to say - for most of our kids those conditions are not going to be met. Then summer is a great time to build some of those important character building skills.

Next question - who's idea was it to have your son take a writing class? My son attended SIG, a gifted day camp around that age, and they were very strong is saying that the kids should pick classes that interest them. Of course I didn't follow their recommendation - I made a deal with my son that he could pick 2 classes, and I would pick one (and yes, it was Writing!) Lucky for us, both years the Writing classes had terrific teachers and were quite easy and fun.

So if you are the one who picked, are you feeling guilty? If so - cut that out! My guess is that you had very good reason for choosing writing - perhaps to even up some abilities to prepare for another gradeskip if it is ever needed? There's nothing wrong with wanting a little 'insurance.'

If possible, observe some of the classes in Math and Science so you can see if they would be 'too easy' if he decides to take them next year.

If a child is HG or PG, they may have to choose a weak area to get anything out of a class aimed at MG kids.

Anyway, I would talk to the teacher and say what you told us. Sometimes the teachers will suggest modifications to make the class a better fit (shorter assignments, or dictating the assignments to you for you to type, or allowing the child to keyboard)

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Don't we all do this?! Last week I sent DS9 to an all day intensive art camp. Since we homeschool and art is just not his cup of tea, he just doesn't do much hands on art.

So I signed the boy up for art camp. It was ages 9+ and there were many older girls in the group (7), and 3 boys. It was a hit - he actually loved it. But it so easily could have been a huge disaster. You just never know when you take these leaps! We're all learning all the time. He spent 30+ hours at 5 different local art places with people excited about their craft (I think this is what makes the difference).

It was a truly wonderful experience. He threw clay pots, made hand stitched books, hand dyed and felted fabric. Made a short feature film after drawing up a story board, filming, and editing. Learned and used printing press using several different processes. Made hand made paper. But honestly, at the beginning of the week, I had no idea what he'd think. Luckily he doesn't try to compare himself to the next kid too much. Just not being the best at something is probably a good experience all on it's own.

We're all just piecing this together one day at a time, aren't we?

I would agree about talking to the teacher. It sounds like too much to me and that could turn a child off.

I do agree it's all tricky when to push and when to back off. I told my son he had to do something this summer other than hanging out because I know that is not enough. He was not interested in some lego camps during the school year- grumpy time. Now that he is in summer mode he is looking forward to the camps.

My dd has done several CTY courses. In my opinion, they are very heavy and they cover a huge amount of material in a very short time. This classes are meant to be in the child's areas of strenght and passion, otherwise they are just too much.

Hi Grinity

Thank you for your input. We had DS7 speak with the teacher, she has agreed to ive him throughn the three day holiday to complete his writing. We also took a break last night, very little hoework and took the family to see Air Bender. Yes I was feeling guilty, and although he picked the class, he was guided by me. And also a yes for preping for a possible 2nd skip. Most other skills are still above grade lkevel except for writing, Math is around 6th, and other skills are mid 5th. We may look at another grade skip in middle school. Nothing is set, but having the groundwork in place could be helpful if needed. I will try and see the math and science course for next year if he is interested. Also looking at maybe having him attend the Math Circle at UCLA on sundys, but drive time is hard. About an 1hr drive. If issue of writting continues we will ask about keyboarding, but I am hoping he will continue to write and work on penmenship. I originally thought the class may be to easy for him, untill I saw the depth of the work. The CTY calss is goodspecally for thouse that love to write. Unfortunatly DS7 loves Math and Science.

Hi Kmick

That was my hope, unfortunatly it turned the other way. We are still trying to keep it fun for him, and hopefully develop some love of writing.

Hi Bianc

We see that now, other parents from your daughters school spoke highly about the cty class, but upon reflection it was in subjects they loved.