Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Questioning teacher???

Frustration tolerance is important -- and the ability to let unimportant things slide is (one) key to a happy, healthy life.
BUT... gosh darn it... what exactly is bad about divergent thinking? That's one thing I like about dd3.9 staying home with me -- her answer is almost always right, even if it wasn't the "expected" answer. Or her methodology is always more creative and/or analytical, even if it's not following the instructions. And, yes, there are times when you have to follow the instructions -- like when you're baking (perhaps) or driving or taking a standardized test -- but for, say, art? Why, as long as you are doing work that is equal to or above what was asked of you?

I love the way she thinks, and I know it will serve her well in adulthood. But, ah, I can see it causing problems in school.

I really like what Nautigal is saying. I think I have a different point of view, though, as I HATE confrontation.

I think a lot depends on both the question and the teacher. DS had a lot of frustration with his teacher last year because frequently his answers were right, but were not what the teacher was looking for. I used it as an opportunity to explain to DS that when he's doing school work, he should generally choose the most appropriate answer and not complicate things. For example, if you're in 2nd grade and they show a picture of a tarantula in Language Arts, they're probably looking for the word, "spider" and not the word, "arachnid."

Personally, I would have an issue with the teacher's lack of fairness in the OP's post, and would likely explain that to my DS if he were in that situation, and encourage him to talk with the teacher about it once. If the teacher balked, I would probably explain to DS that it sounds like neither the student nor the teacher would benefit from the confrontation required to correct the error. It is a valuable skill to understand your audience (or opponent), and to know when to push and when to walk away. Another lesson he could learn is that people in teaching/authority positions are not always right.

My son actually did confront the teacher in K when the teacher insisted that Y and W are never vowels. I had always taught him a,e,i,o,u and sometimes Y and W. She got all huffy and said that I was wrong. He insisted that there are too many words in english where there is no vowel then, making them not words. She put her hands on her hips and said "Oh yeah, well name one!"

He rattled off a list of try, cry, why, etc. She was MAD! I got an email about it and it started another entire cycle of "this child is defiant and difficult." This was the same teacher who insisted in front of the class, that my son was lying when he said he knew how to read.

So yeah... I did not handle it well. I wrote her with a properly sited research paper about the concept of semi-vowels, when w acts like a vowel and that y is often considered a vowel because of how it makes other letters change phonemes.

And we promptly got a new school the next year :-)

Thinking back, really, I should have let it go. But I had had it with this teacher's attitude! Being a teacher and administrator myself, I know that some teachers just will not admit a mistake because they think it takes away their authority. I try hard to coach my teachers that admitting mistakes actually teaches the students to respect you and to make yourself more approachable.

She should be fired.

I wouldn't have let it go. You've got to stick up for your son. You should teach him to be polite as much as possible, but right is right.

Grinity and passthepotatoes - you both make good points from both sides. My son - now 10 - does know more than the teachers.

we are having a(nother) fraught time over bullying, and a meeting called to discuss this descended into a litany of littrle'uns faults. Anyhow, in order to demonstrate his knowledge and ability to compare 2 pieces of literature I told them how one day in the car he asked me why the boys in Nicholas Nickleby were sent to Dotheboys Hall (look of discomfort on headmasters and teacher's faces). I explained that in Victorian times sometimes children born outside of marriage were sometimes sent away. Anyhow, he then asks me about Gloucester's sons Edmund and Edgar (teacher and headmasters faces now showing increased horror) and about the way the bastard son (Shakespeare's words mind - not mine - bringing a look of horror now) mistreated his brother to get Gloucester's favour. Teachers now totally lost.

The point is - their ignorance was written all over their faces, they don't recognise how special it is to be able to draw these 2 stories together - in fact they don't even know the stories anyhow. Shouldn't have used the word bastard tho' - ooooH no!

many teachers have very fragile egos and are used to always being right (which is sometimes necessary), hate to be seen as making a mistake, can't be told anything, and that maybe you can find some way of expressing this to you little'un. I now tell mine that sometimes he knows more than them and he must be gentle with them - in a nice way.

But it's hard

Great book - Dumbing Us Down - eye opener!

Oh boy, this reminds me of my brother. He was often smarter than his teachers & did not learn how to approach them with grace, apparently. He just ended up disliking school. (He was a child who would read the encyclopedia when he was bored.) He is now very successful working as a software engineer.

I recall approaching a teacher in 6th grade while taking a test to ask if a word were misspelled. She acted as if I were questioning her knowledge or being a know-it-all. Turns out it was a word that I didn't even know! Why she couldn't just take a minute & explain it to me was beyond me at the time--and somewhat embarrassing.

tracecqyns & ginger

exactly! Why make a big thing about it? Why not say "let's look it up together" the "mmm, looks like you may be right"

Everything ... everything!!! comes down to a battle of wills/egos over something as small as a spelling. The teacher wins and the little'uns leran a valuable lesson too - shut up and know thatI am right!!!!

Wow what a post Nautigal. Reading your stories frustrates me.
Standing up for oneself is a good point. I'm just so worried the teacher would be so offended and take it out on him. This all reminds me of another post someone wrote which was about 5% of the population is gifted and they have to deal with the other 95% of the world. I myself am not gifted, I am in the 95%, so questioning a teacher would never have ever been an issue for me. I never questioned anything. I am very humbled after having my DS7. I have had to tell him many a time "I am sorry but I dk" Humble teachers are few and far between.

By the way I still dk which is more similar Mars or Venus??
Anyone?? When I looked it up it seems a toss up, I am not sure.
I couldn't find a site that specifically said. Maybe it does depend on what characteristics you want to compare to Earth.
Anyone? It would be nice to really give my DS7 the "right" answer, if tehre is one

I agree it is important for saving face and not alienating other people. Also, one thing we talk about a lot at our house is the idea of assuming positive intent in other people and thinking about the perspective of other people. The teacher is most likely not marking your work inaccurately as an act of spite. He or she likely is grading thousands of questions and mistakes will happen. If you start from the place where you assume they are stupid or out to get you your response is likely to be less than diplomatic. Kids should know even the smartest ones will sometimes be positive they got something right when in reality they misread the question or made a mistake. So, starting with the "I'm sorry..." or "Perhaps I misunderstood..." reflects an awareness that it is very likely that there may be a communication error that is causing confusion and it is best to make sure that's not the case before proceeding to the step or getting irritating or feeling like you are in conflict.