Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional no diagnosis, yet dealing with obsessive interests

Hi,

I wasn't sure where to place this, but was hoping someone familiar with fixating behavior might chime in with something. My DD4 has not been diagnosed with anything except being very bright (she has been observed by a school specialist, another psychologist, OT etc.)but some of her behavior has been challenging and left us wondering. I've noticed her getting much better recently with less explosive tantrums, more self control, and improved ability to navigate the playground equipment, but she still is an intense, tireless child LOL

One thing that is difficult for me to handle is how she fixates on certain characters. They rotate, but once she is locked on one, a majority of her time is spent acting out stories with that particular character and much of her conversation will pull in her favored character. One example, is she likes Beatrix Potter stories and will fixate on various characters. It really does go beyond what I see in other children. I am home with her full time (along with her 2 year old sister) and hearing about said character a hundred times a day and being asked to be one of the characters or use figurines to play out scenes is simply boring to an adult yet no child we know shares her interest or knows the stories or has the verbal and imaginative abilities and focus to do this sort of thing for what seems like very LONG sessions. I will sit with her and play with figurines or help her draw pictures of them and read stories to her while she acts them out, but at some point I am so DONE and she still wants to do more with that one character. Thank goodness she rotates them now. When she was two she was really obsessed with snowmen to such a degree my husband started to hate snowmen!

Anyway, has anyone seen this level of obsession on things like this? I know kids with Asbergers tend to get fixated on things like lists, space, etc. Is there a way to help them off their narrow track? I've actually talked to a variety of "experts" about Asbergers, but for the most part, only one person even gave it a second thought.

I don't know how to get her to move off her track so my brain doesn't explode from the repetition. I worry it just isn't healthy to fixate on the same characters to such an extent: reading the book, then making drawings, then using figurines, then acting out the characters. I am sure it all sounds cute, and it would be in small doses and if there was more variety, but the intensity is mind numbing. Help.

(not sure if this helps at all but I was a published writer of poetry and fiction and also performed in theater, dance, and have a natural drawing ability. She seems to have those things as well. Could this just be her creative part getting locked down or is something else going on? It really becomes all consuming for her. Whatever it is, it can drive us a bit batty. Right now she is pulling on my arm wanting me to see what "special guest" is in the living room...I am sure I met him before).

To me, it sounds creative. My ASD son will fixate on things, but will have no interest in including me in it. It sounds like your daughter is play acting and exploring ALL the details of a character...while my son would fixate on one specific aspect of a character and repeat that same thing over and over. For him, for a long time it was roads...we have 50 blank books FILLED with his drawings of roads. Yet, if he were like your daughter, he would have had me in his room taking me with him on his journey through the roads and showing me what we are all discovering. My son's roads are just roads. Do you see the difference? I'm not an expert by any means, but your daughter's obsession sounds creative and not like Asperger's...at least not the Asperger's as displayed by my son! Anecdotal, I know, but that's the best I got!!!! Nan

The extreme interest in the character doesn't sound all that unusual to me - my DS had a long phase of being that interested in Thomas the Tank Engine and friends, which fortunately for him is pretty common for boys here! I think if I were you I'd focus more on getting myself out of the loop than on changing her interests. My DS accepted pretty easily that adults had limits to their willingness to be involved; I realise (now!) that we were lucky in that, but maybe there are ways to get that across? Maybe even ham it up: "Oh no! DD wants me to play stuff about X again! I know DD loves playing things about X but I'm going to explode if I have to do that again!". She needs to know that it's fine for her to be interested in things you're not interested in.

thanks, Nan. I hope things are going OK with your son. One psychologist mentioned Asbergers based on other things--memory, use of formal language, tantrums, but other "experts" didn't see that trend as much. I do see the difference, but still would like more variety. Was it hard on you to be left outside of his interests?

Hi Collinsmom,

Thanks for your note. I have tried to convey that to her, but she is a persistent kid! I think that if she were into princesses or some common childhood obsession it would help, but her favorite characters are always just a little different than other kid's but fortunately not TOO far out...I'll keep working on conveying to her that adults can only play those games so much!

My niece who has Asperger's did this for years. It's often even harder to tease out in girls what's just intense creative play with characters, and what's spectrum behavior.

How are her other social skills? Reciprocal conversation? Cooperative play? Does she just want you to be interested, or does she want you to participate? Would she freak out if you banished or moved the special interest characters?

For our DS we limit access to special interests when they become a problem.

DeeDee

Twinkle Toes,

Video and computer games are the obsessions around here and have been since DS was 3. Big brothers got him interested and nothing could stop THAT train! I have spent months at a time listening to characters, levels, moves, strategy etc. etc. Each new game will become the obsession for a few months or so and then there will be a lull before the next. Right now it is Disney's Toon Town. I indulge him a bit but then say I am glad he has something he loves but I like to do many other things.

I do not think it sounds like Asperger's either. She is exploring and creating and wants you along! I think it is great she is passionate about something although I empathize fully with being on overload. :-)

Breakaway

I'll trade you a 3 year Pokemon obssession for Beatrice Potter. That actually sounds like a better deal. DS9 knows I don't understand what he is talking about but just wants me to listen.

I let him do Pokemon a lot but I also make sure he does other things. This is not too hard because he has many interests. This week, I found a book on how to make paper boomerangs. He really got into this.

TwinkleToes,

My son is like that. He's not Aspergers. And sorry to tell you again - DS is 7 and STILL like that . Actually, he's got a running parallel universe that been going on for 3 years now, and it's a mirror of our universe complete with social injustice, economic crisis, black holes, and anything you can think of. He's not interested in telling anyone else about his obsession - just me. This world is very real to him, and yes, he's extremely persistent in telling me. Even DH doesn't get the full on treatment. It's been tough on me, and I've snapped at him before (meltdown on my part), but it hasn't stopped him. Guess I've gotten used to it and am starting to think that when it does stop, I'll miss it.

It sounds like she is a very creative very bright child. I delt with same issues when he was 4yrs. old. I gave him as many different interests as possible to help balance his need for sensory input, with interesting input, so he didn't just get stuck on one thing. He would lay in the driveway for hours sorting out different rocks,color,type so I got him a rock tumbler and he made jewelry. Took him to the garden center and touched and smelled,tasted herbs, and talked about plant. Then started garden and discussed how to plant it and he loved that! Getting to pick and eat veg's. He collected everything! Took nature walks and gathered things to make things out of, grass and sticks became baskets. Since she is drawing you might go to library and get a book on plants or flowers to make a garden and let her draw a graph of where to put plants,how much space they take,ect. For a child with a creative, very bright mind she need variety and input. It might give you a bit of a break if you can funnel her energy into physical expressions of her amazing imagination through art, I found providing a very large variety of craft supplys it allowed a outlet for all that wonder energy. I bought a load of sand and he spent hours making ,sculpting and designing towns and ponds ect.. He wanted to touch everything in the store so all of these things worked great. He was down loading information by mult-sensory input. Your daughter is very verbal. She sounds wonderful. I do understand the overload when stuck on one thing. If you could find a child to play with her it would give you a break and bring her back from alternative universe to real universe. He also started card collections. I sure know what you are going through. So have a very long extensive list of how I delt with same issues. Let me know if you would like any more info. I tend to do TMI. Wishing you the best!