Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional no diagnosis, yet dealing with obsessive interests

Oh my gosh, I have dealt with this MANY times before! My mother had to speak with these so-called "experts", and they said that I had Asperger's. (VERY introverted, preferred to read when everyone else was talking/watching a violent, gory movie, when I did talk, I hugged or didn't look the person straight in the eye, and I was bad at reading social cues that involved slang or so-called "hot" celebrities.) My mom, however, was giving it a second thought, but just told the specialists at my school (which specializes in behavioral and emotional difficulties, as well as early learning) so I could get the help I need. I believe that she MAY have a PDD (sorry if that offended you), but sometimes, obsessing over characters in a book could be just one of the things that make her unique. (I sometimes obsess over this character in a manga.) But I DO think she is gifted. I've had expierience dealing with this! ^^

-Violet

Hi DeeDee,

Thanks for your response. She makes attempts at back and forth conversation but that can be limited with some children because of their limited language skills. Her language is highly developed and so she tends to dominate, but she does ask other kids questions and respond to what they say. I think she is better with adults. She had a very adult conversation with a man with a dog we met the other day. She does do cooperative play, but again, likes to lead and dominate, but if she were around an older, stronger kid, she might be more inclined to follow more. She does like to be in control, but isn't set on things being "just so" or following routines or rules. She does like me to participate in the play, and is getting better at having me make up my own parts of the story rather than just sticking to what she wants to happen.

She is super outgoing and very adept at reading other's emotions. Other kids tend to like her, but I think she is a bit bossy and controlling. For instance we met a young girl today and my DD4 decided to be her tour guide and walked ahead pointing to things and reading things for her and showing her around. She approached her and introduced herself and asked her to play with them. The other girl seemed fine with it and the parents thought she was cute, but this is fairly typical:she wants to be the teacher, the tour guide, the boss...that may just be personality but there are just a cluster of things that always make me wonder if it is anyting else.

I think I would rather stick with the Beatrix Potter books too LOL I know nothing about Pokemon and hope it stays that way :-) At least the stories are cute for the most part, many have great vocabulary words, etc. I really wouldn't complain if these various obsessions didn't grow as large as they do and so consuming. I take her many places and try to foster new things to learn about to try to make sure her brain doesn't get too locked on anything, but it seems she is wired to lock down on things that capture her attention. That's all great but will be even better once she realizes I don't share that interest and no one else might either!

You mentioend that she is outgoing and adept at reading other's emotions. That is not ndicative of Aspergers at all. How is her eye contact? And is she okay at respecting other people's personal physical space?

TT, Yes, it was hard and frustrating to be left out of his interests. It took a long time and training (of the parents) by therapists to be able to get him to involve us. He has made amazing progress from when he was initially diagnosed to now (it's been 5 years this month) in fact so much so, that I have been questioning his initial diagnosis. But then I read something like your post and the difference between how my son was at 4 and your daughter is really stands out. Anyway, thanks for asking TwinkleToes! DS is doing so so great Nan

Hi Twinkletoes,

Being adept at reading others' emotions sounds like NOT at all an Asperger feature. It's a huge asset.

The other traits, the being stuck on one play topic all day, and the bossiness, both can be part of AS (but aren't necessarily-- you'll get no armchair diagnosis from me).

To give you some context: my niece who has AS played repetitively with a few things, usually in a heavily scripted way such that she resisted input from other people. Her language use and vocabulary seemed sophisticated, but a lot of it was borrowed bits of books and TV shows. She orders other kids around: things have to be her way for her to play successfully with them. She is a very bright kid, but quite inflexible.

If you have concerns based on what the psychologist told you, you might want to have it checked out-- we finally got useful diagnostic info from the autism center of a children's hospital.

It is often hard for docs to figure out what is Asperger's and what is giftedness-- especially in girls-- so if you choose to pursue these questions, you would need to find a specialist who is really equipped to do this.

HTH,
DeeDee

I believe her eye contact is very good, but she does like to get into other people's personal space and we are working on that. She often comments on how people feel and talks about their expressions and I was hoping that tilted the scale away from Asbergers, but there is always a little sliver of concern, but so far, all the "experts" say it is just personality traits and giftedness...

Good to hear, Nan. That's great that you found something that worked for him. It is wonderful that you found helpful therapists. I wish someone could direct me a little bit with her even if there is no name for the way she is challenging.

I just read some traits of Asbergers in girls and had to add that my DD4 has highly expressive, inflected language and her imagination does seem original. She used to be very rigid in her play and not want me to add things, but lately she has let me add more and participate more.

Thanks for sharing a little bit about your neice. I am very interested since we hear so little about girls with Asbergers.

My DD is very imaginative and has been for as long as I can remember, but not to the intensity that you describe of your DD. My DD is always playing with special little characters throughout the day but they come along with us and interact with our day ... if that makes sense? She adapts her play to whatever we are doing. IE. we were out and about and DD had to take her characters in the store with us (tucking them under her hoodie) and they went shopping with her but they got into trouble ... getting into paint; behind things, etc. It was definitely entertaining.

As for my involvement: I'm not required to play but she welcomes it and thrives off of it. But when I'm not in the mood it doesn't slow her down.

So what does your gut say about your DD? It seems you still ponder it even though you have seen numerous specialists. I will say this ... if she does have Asbergers it is really hard to diagnose before age 7 or 8. I give you high props for not taking one opinion as absolute and continuing to research it, but my advice is not to become obsessed with it. Your daughter is a special little girl regardless of if she is or isn't on the spectrum.