Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Gifted ed when 1 spouse is not on board?

TBH, DD is the sporty type more than DS. She plays softball & volleyball. DS get frustrated too easily in competition to enjoy himself. He seems to be of the mind that if he understands the rules to a game, he should be able to master it as easily as he does, say, reading. The perfectionist issue is one of the main reasons I wanted him to try out gifted ed. It has been addressed somewhat by his teachers over the past 3 years & he talked with the school counselor this year, but I have hope that a teacher who has been trained to work with gifted may have insight that will help him enjoy life. It makes me so sad to see him unhappy & unwilling to have fun. In fact, his relationship with DH might be better if he learns to play sports & video games without freaking out. They would definitely have more in common.

"It's interesting that your DH feels like the local school is a known quantity - I bet that if he actually spent 45 minutes in a classroom similar to what your son is in, it would make an impression on him different from what he thinks he 'knows'"
I hadn't thought about this until now, but it's possible that he thinks all teachers are as good as his mom is at teaching to different levels in one class. She has been teaching for 45 years & she is excellent. And his sister is a great P.E. teacher.

As far as they are concerned, I know that there is some question about "gifted kids" not being properly "socialized". (I hate even writing that; it make them sound like animals instead of people.) I think that attitude comes from their observations of the normal quirks found in some kids with high IQs. Maybe it's more noticeable when they are in a separate class. But I don't see either of my kids having major social problems. They are both very gregarious, to the point of having brought me out of my shell!

I know that one of DH's uncles has dyslexia & is very smart. But when my mil talks about it, she is very proud of the fact that her mother taught him to read & he has done so well for himself in life.

I guess the animosity in general has just surprised me--I never encountered it growing up. Either my parents never talked about it or the issue wasn't a big deal back in the 70's/80's.

There have been a couple of studies done on Hunter kids. Like 40 years longitudinal studies.

They have found that the gifted classrooms can be a problem for gifted kids. They have less drive, less successful than gifted kids that have to push for opportunities.

I am sure part of it comes from parents. The kids that push for opportunities wouldn't know they were there unless the parents are very involved and helping push the child. And the Hunter parents have this gifted kid that is "special" and should be taken care of in this great gifted school.

I know that if DD had cooperated and gotten in, I would have had a much more laissez faire approach. I know that going through the process for the citywide schools again this year, DD gets it. I talk to her why we are doing this OLSAT test again. The school options. And after 5th grade, she will have to do it again. Not IQ test, but achievement scores again. So there is this message, if she wants it, she will have to work for it.

I can definitely see the difference in how I would have dealt with her options. And that translates into the message I give my kid, whether I want to or not.

Ren

If the shuttle bus is private it would be safer than say a city school bus. By me they are 200 a month. But still we tried a NYC city gifted school we had to commute to and it was a horrible experience. Not only was it not worth the commute, you couldn't pay me to send my child there LOL

The school DS is going to be attending is part of the same public school system he has been in & he will be riding a school bus from the school he attended this year to the new one. It's another 15-20 min away. I could easily take him if I needed to.

We are in a a small county in FL & only have county schools. They had to consolidate the elementary gifted students at one school because of budget constraints. It's not a "gifted only" school. In fact, some of the kids from his class this past year are going be there too.