Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion More criticism and being misunderstood

I think the hardest part of having a gifted child is how misunderstood they are to most people. DS7 teacher told me "he often isolates himself in his books" At lunch he will take out his book to read while he eats. Instead of getting praised for reading he gets criticisd.

At CW Post this Spring I saw many a child do the same. It did not strike me as isolating themselves but having a love of reading.

What does she want me to do yell at him for reading too much tell him stop reading so much doesn't that sound ridiculous

DS6 is the same way. Thankfully he's never been discouraged to do so - other than he's lost a book or two in the cafeteria, so until he became more responsible he wasn't allowed to bring one with him.

It's sad that the first thing that is said is something is "wrong" with the child instead of seeing what is actually "right".

I know, it is really sad. I think it just looks odd to them because how many other kids will want to read like that.

I went to the school for lunch last week. And I saw it. My son was reading and eating. The other kids were barely able to sit in their chairs. They was all asking me to either get water, or go to the bathroom etc. So yes my DS stood out like a sore thumb he was quiet as a mouse sitting there lost in his book. The kids do not get much time to read so when he is allowed that is what he wants to do. They get 15 minutes of silent reading. That is nothing. I bet it is torture though for most of the other kids LOL

Sometimes I wish I had the guts to homeschool but I cannot handle all of that criticism!!!!!!!!

I wish I could homeschool too. For me it's not the criticism, but the sheer fact that I have no patience nor am I able to stick to schedules very well. Of course, it would probably be a learning experience for me too.

That is all very true JJsmom. It would not be as easy as it sounds either. I have been so disgusted with schools that I could not even visit this site for the longest time. I couldn't even bring myself to discuss anything "gifted" it was too upsetting. It is like having a child with a disorder who gets not help. That is how it feels.

Did you visit the teacher about your son reading during lunch? It is possible she is concerned he isn't socializing with the other children,which is important part of childhood development. On a questionier for disability services, a childs ability to socilize is determining factor on receiving a disability approval from Social Security disability. Teachers have training in childrens development, teachers fill out these forms for Social Security Disability. Possibly she recognizes how out of place he feels and her comments aren't negative but actually supportive of recognizeing all of your sons need at school. It is hard for children when they don't fell like they are part of the group. You might find it interesting that in reasearch it is a family that sits down and eats together and talks and shares that time together talking, are the children that do the best. I haven't read research on the importance of children all sitting and visiting and eating together. I provided opportunities for my child to socilize out of school to meet his developmental needs. I shared with the school I recognized he needed support to develop social skills. It helped because the teacher felt I was helping to support her and it addressed the issue where we had the same goal, providing a enviorment to meet his needs.

I also have struggled with going to the school. Have same homeschooling issues.

My DD did the same thing when she was in PS. She finally came out and told the teacher she had absolutely no interest in discussing American Girls or Hannah Montana and no one was interested in discussing anything she was interested in, mostly few understood what she was talking about. There is definately something to be said about socialization, but that differs greatly from socializing.

I'm sorry for your son.

I feel your frustration....back when DS was 4 he was in a Montessori preschool and I will never, ever forget the day he wanted to bring one of his books from home into school to read to his teacher (it was a book about tornados- he had been reading since he was about 3 but had never asked to bring a book in before to school). He was SO excited and ran up to her when we entered the school to begin reading it to her and the first words out of her mouth were, "you shouldn't let him read such advanced book you know". My son's face dropped through the floor. She then went on to lecture me about how he should be off playing toys like the other kids instead of reading these higher up books because what will happen to him when he hits elementary school - he will be so far ahead and that wouldn't be good. For weeks afterwards, my son was scared of getting books at the library or book store because he said he was afraid his teacher would be upset that he was reading. What a shame people just can't revel in how amazing these kids are