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Awww incog - I totally agree. That seems really unprofessional and unorganized to pull this after barely getting it started. And your e-mail sounds positive and well written while still conveying the disappointment.

At least your school has a policy in place for a skip, but it's unfortunate that it's such a drawn out process. I think my DS would resist a skip too. He is socially quite happy in his class now.

Let us know how it goes!

Oh Neato!

I was thinking to post on my 'yucky school meeting' thread that the meeting I dread the most is when they promise the sun and moon and then eventually don't deliver.

You know, we've had that experience with every 'enrichment' program that was put into place. That must be why I have a soft spot in my heart for full grade skips even though they have obvious drawbacks! Golly, can a different teacher do the program for the 3 weeks? Will they let a parent do it?

My son was another one who found the 'testing' to be an enrichment activity. I would ask them to start on it, even knowing the 'rule' and your daughter's feelings - she may change her mind, and I'm sure you won't have to take the skip if she holds her position. As long as she is going to enjoy the testing and use it as an enrichment.

Remember to keep talking to everyone about the emotional stress this is putting her in.

Neato, I don't remember your daughter's situation, but I remember being convinced that she's on track with her judgment against a skip. I'm going to give some general advice that comes to my mind, for the lurker parent who is reading this because their hard fought enrichment just fell apart. ((Generalization Alert!))

I know that the IASM says that the child has to be willing. I think that's true for MG kids, and maybe the lower side of HG kids - but around Ruf Level III I think a parent must be prepared to have an independent perspective and apply a bit of pressure if needed. In the end, it's the parents who have the world experience.

We put it in terms or learning how to learn. DS had the famous choice to afterschool with me, 30 minutes 5 days a week, subjects of my choice at least half the time, or take the skip. Another friend convinced her son by pointing out all the homework he would never have to do. In my mind it's willingness after parental arm twisting. Again it so much depend on the kid! But the more perfectionism, or wild in-class behavior, or social isolation, the more I'd be willing to arm-twist.

Thanks Grinity. I'm supporting her decision not want to skip mainly because I think she will qualify for a magnet school starting 4th grade.
If we didn't have that option, I would be pushing for the skip or pulling her out for homeschool, whether she wanted it or not. No question. There are various reasons for this, but mostly, as much as I want to support her comfort level it's my job to step in when necessary and make an unpopular decision.
I know my child and I see the light in her eyes when she's doing a DNA experiment, a chemistry worksheet or challenging math. I feel peer pressure at school is not allowing her to be "her true self". It's fine for now because we are giving her opportunities to explore both of these sides of her dynamic personality. However, I don't feel a child should "hide" themselves in order to appeal to peers or teachers, so you can bet I'll be keeping a close eye on this.

ADDITONALLY: Thanks so much for responding, all, and for your support. I have to say I was Enraged Thursday night after the teacher cornered me at a school event to tell me about shelving the extra program for three weeks. I've had an e-mail back from her giving me a little more explanation on why this happened, it seems as if someone dropped the ball with scheduling. I also have a hard date as to when the program should re-start. This forum has allowed me to express my frustration and pull your ideas to respond in a reasonable and professional manner. Which, is hard for me to do when I'm very very mad.
However, I would have gotten nowhere fast if I went in there all guns ablazing.
So thanks again for keeping my honest and being a great sounding board.

Most sincerely,
Incogneato

'Neato - you are using this Forum wisely! Interesting parallels between you taking your feelings with a grain of salt and using them wisely, and your taking your daughter's feelings with an independent perspective. Yippee!

Grinity

I'm glad we can all help.

I totally understand your rage about this, and I think you should pat yourself on the back for using all your resources wisely. It's not the perfect ending, but you done good, given the situation.

P.S. I like calling you 'Neato better than Incog. It suits you better. Good call, Grin!