Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Newbie seeks help re: only gifted child of six ...

Hello,
This is not (directly) related to the subject of gifted education so I hope you will excuse the intrusion.

I am 44, one of six children. I am the only one who was tested for giftedness. I showed promise early, and scored in the 99th percentile in all testing until the fourth grade (when my math aversion showed up!) My siblings are nonreaders, struggled in school, are pretty much "normal" people I guess.

This onliness of mine has caused some problems throughout my life, and I'd like some support as I try to resolve some of them, especially as I'm increasingly caring for an elderly mother who is SO SO different from me.

I take after my dad, deceased now 10 years. He was a very verbal, restless person whose brain never stopped. Unfortunately, an impatient and frustrated man ... I understand this more and more as time passes.

Anywho -- are there any forums out there for 1) gifted adults, specifically 2) onlies?

Thanks very much in advance.

Jen

I don't know the answers to your questions, but I suggest at least considering the possibility that some of your siblings may have had learning disability types of issues that caused them to seem average rather than bright in school (nonreaders who struggled in school - that would be the tip-off. I'm thinking LDs or perhaps visual learners with some sort of weaknesses - see e.g., http://www.visualspatial.org/welcome.htm). If your dad was very bright also, it's likely that at least some of your siblings are, even if they haven't been able to demonstrate it. Siblings tend to have IQs within 10 points of each other, I believe.

I'm sorry you feel lonely in this regard (says a mom of 6). I hope you find what you're looking for - good luck! (Also, FWIW, my mom drives me crazy too; we're pretty different!)

Snowgirl, you wrote,

"I suggest at least considering the possibility that some of your siblings may have had learning disability types of issues that caused them to seem average ..."

I'm pretty sure that two of my siblings have learning disabilities. One went to a special school, and the other passed on certain traits to her daughter, who WAS identified as LD.

My understanding of "gifted" might be very wrong, but I have never really seen anything in my siblings to make me think they have that type of potential. If they do, and it's just been suppressed by personality or access to the right opportunities, that is very sad indeed. As adults, none are doing anything especially "focused" in one area ... arts or hobbies or interests. All five are in low-skill jobs (retail clerk, etc.) and spend their free time watching TV.

That might be really elitist and I apologize in advance if it does. I know gifted people who work in "low cognitive" jobs ... however, they were high-acheiving in school.

I just don't see much curiosity AT ALL in my siblings. Conversation topics are very very limited. No anecdotes, no "that reminds me of the time that ... "

Anyway, I'll stop now before I say anything else that might be offensive.

"Master of none," thanks for the link.

Jen

((hugs)) to you

I am from a family of gifties, id'd and not and although we have our "moments" ok years of rubbing each other the wrong way there is always this understanding that we understand each other on some level.

so my heart goes out to you to not feel this family alignment as it were.

welcome to the forum!

I'll add my 2 cents, I guess.

My MG sister has been through some really rough times in her life. At this point (in her mid-30s) she has little drive, no intellectual pursuits, and, unless you really push her, it is virtually impossible to tell that she is gifted at all. I wouldn't be at all surprised if some or all of your siblings have had similar issues. I know (because my DH is 2E) how hard it can be to grow up struggling and not having your needs recognized, much less met.

I grew up the HG+ child of two ND (well, one ND and one possibly MG) parents. It is hard, even though my family is pretty intellectual. But I think the gifted thing is a very small consideration in the big picture of our relationships.

My brain works on different level than those in my family. Mine too.

I love my family but I definately don't fit in.

Hmm, master of none, I clicked on that link, but it didn't work... is it just me?