Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Spacing Out

My son is 7yo and is PG. He's a terrific self learner, although it's very hard to teach him. He has this issue that I'm unsure if it's a disability or part of his PGness. You see, when things get monotonous, he spaces out, like he stares into space with a blank look and a half smile on his face. It's hard to get him to snap out of it!

He's done this for writing (he has handwriting issues), for easy or drill-ish math (say long multiplication that he can't do in his head - so we don't do a lot around here), and now I've noticed that he'll zone through class instructions so that he doesn't know what to do for homework or for tests.

It hasn't been much of an issue when we were homeschooling - I just avoid, skip, and hope that developmental milestones will kick in. Now that he's in school, the requirements are less flexible. He really has no problem staying with the task if they're complicated enough - he's actually dogged when it comes to trying to understand algebra problems. But life not all of school is complicated and hard. I've told him to try his best - he will be grade accelerated soon and tested for subject acceleration after that, but I wonder if this will be an issue going forward. Can he help himself here? What can I do to help stop the spacing out? Is this a learning disability?

TIA

Can he chew gum at school?

Wow, does that help? He doesn't chew gum and isn't permitted in school.

Um. no real suggestions but I did do that as a kid. Honestly, I needed to. Things were just so mind-numbingly dull that if I paid attention 100% of the time I would've gone insane. I think it was my brain's defense mechanism.


Unfortunately, now, I still struggle with paying attention during oral presentations at work and always seem to have to go back and get the slides to truly understand things. I STILL space out quite a bit! Although, I think a big part of that is that I've always been better at processing written text vs. oral information. Do you think your son could have the same problem? I should say, stuff learned in conversations is entirely different but paying attention in a classroom setting where there wasn't written text and no conversation going was impossible for me (and still is).

First thing I do when I sit down to do homework with my son is hand him a piece of gum!!

My son is in a GATE cluster in 2nd grade. The teacher is very accommodating. Some kids stand for instruction, others sit on balance/exercise balls. Some have squeezy tension balls on their desks. And a good number of them chew on their sweatshirts... OE's are so strange in a class of very gifted kids! Perhaps one of these will help him occupy a part of his brain so the other part can concentrate on the directions.

Interestingly, that's what he told the school counselor, newmom21C. That the only way to pass the day is to zone or he'll go nuts.

Ok, I'm learning that that this can be a lifelong thing (I realize I do it too, when people talk to me about things I have no interest in), and that this can be a sign of visual versus auditory processing strength. Really interesting too, about the squeezeballs and gum chewing. I'll ask if he can bring a squeezeball into class, although that might be a distraction in itself!

Blob - I posted a few days ago about my DS6 forgetting instructions in class, he sounds a lot like your son. How did you find homeschooling? We're considering it when we move back to the U.S. later this year.

LOL Me too! At school I remember several times when the teacher refered to "what we were doing yesterday" and I had absolutely no recollection of ever seeing it before!

Not sure that helps, but - well, does it really matter if he can't remember? I mean, is he learning anything by doing those tasks anyway? (I don't know, it's just something for you to think about.)

Hi Venture,

Which thread did you post in? Would love to have a read .

When I look back, we had a wonderful time homeschooling. I was never trained to be a teacher, never had the patience even. But it was a terrific experience when I learnt to let go and LISTEN. We homsechooled from 5-6.5yo. He just turned 7. My son speaks about it wistfully and keeps asking to revert to our homeschooling ways, but I need to balance what I can bring to the table going forward.

Our favourite thing about homeschooling is the amount of time we had to just chill and read. We had some seatwork going, which took about an hour tops (more like 30-45mins). But after that, we were free to go to the park, check out museums, and just read. That's how my son learns - he reads a lot, or he's building his Lego or cooking up some experiments from the Horrible Science of DK books.

The two most difficult things about homeschooling was 1) finding his level and the type of curriculum he liked, and 2) the social aspect of life. His favourite subject is math, but everything I could find (Rightstart Math, Life of Fred) just wasn't to his taste, or he felt the pace was slow. I finally found Ed Zacarro - he loves it because there is no drill (he needs some of that but, oh well. He fills the gaps when he needs). He's actually still doing the Algebra book - he loves it so much, we've had to bring it on holiday!

The social aspect was tough - I probably worked hardest in this area. He had a few playgroups, none of which worked out. My son is an extrovert who also happens to be very sensitive, and he's fussy about the type of company he has. He's looking for a connection that I just haven't been able to find. I'm down to hoping that eventually, he'll find people to really connect with when he's in college.

What I like about school - the Gifted board seems to know what to do and are trying to accelerate to his requirement. On the social front, I don't need to know every parent (I found that exhausting) and to manage other people's feelings. Also, my son is very competitive, and already, there was a venue for him to participate in, and he's looking forward to more. The biggest drawback of school is time - there's not much left to the day!

Choose carefully, Venture! And nothing is cast in stone forever - you can change your mind any time. For us, I'm really glad for the homeschooling experience we've had, but I'm also enjoying him going to school now. Good luck!

I explored the manipulatives idea with my son. He didn't want to bring anything to school because he felt it was weird. BUT he insisted I bring this idea up to the teacher. I felt like he was looking for understanding. He used a pencil grippy at school to occupy his hands and bounced it on his desk. The teacher allowed this and it was not a problem. I think this was explained to me as a way of diverting some brainpower so he could consentrate on tasks too simple.