Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Is early kindergarten worth $12,000?

I always felt exactly this way and I was one of the very youngest in my grade school class. There was no id-ing of GT kids at my grade school, and even if there were, no one would have picked me out of a line up. I spend tons of emotional and mental energy trying to blend. I still catch myself doing it. For a long time, I thought I must have felt this way because I was the youngest. But now I think it was the GT extreme sensitivity that made me feel like not a fit.

I think this might be one of those issues that comes up for some GT kids unless they are placed ideally. My son has never had any of this kind of sadness or angst for the 2 years he attended school and he was one of the oldest. He always fit well socially and was just generally confident in who he was. He wondered what was wrong with the whole school system instead of himself. Regardless, I do think this is something to be watching for no matter where or how you place a gifted child. I think my daughter had some of this angst as a preschooler last year.

My son missed the public school cut off by over 4 months but was able to start at a small private school this year instead. It's been a huge success academically and socially, but mainly because the school offers each child an individualized curriculum. Even though DS is the youngest in his class, he is still way beyond his classmates in reading and really needs the differentiation they give him. So from my perspective, unless the $12K private school is going to give your son an individualized curriculum, it won't be worth it--early enrollment alone won't solve your problems. On the other hand, if the school DOES turn out to be a good fit and worth the money, then it's going to be awfully hard to pull your son out after kindergarten and settle for public school. My husband resisted paying for private school (and we pay half of what you're looking at), but now that DS is there and thriving, DH and I both know there's no going back.

This is one of the things that I thought long and hard about, her not being with her agemates, even when I had her IQ testing done the tester said I should consider another grade skip in a year or two (yikes)

I would keep thinking about my best friend who I met in high school and is 2 years younger than myself and who I would consider PG, she should have graduated early,and gone to college, there was nothing the teachers could teach her high school and it was a waste of time for her to be there. She would go to school once a week (maybe) do a test in her classes and get all A's on her report card (she did eventually get in trouble for doing this). She would also get into a lot of other trouble because she was very, very bored (she's now a successful VP at a large company )

Honestly I think it's something you have to look at each year because his needs may change. Also what works for one child may not work for another. My DD is tall for her age and very, very social so it works for her. I do feel she still needs more academically and we will make changes as she needs them.

That being said, DD has adjusted nicely with her class, age has not been an issue with her or her classmates. Even later on I don't think (hope) that this will be an issue, the way DD carries herself is mature (don't get me wrong she can be goofy too) but unless asked her age I don't think classmates will know she is younger. Hope that helps

Thanks again for all the responses--lots of insight here! I'm so glad I decided to post--most people just shrug it off as no big deal, he'll be fine or why rush, let him be a kid. But it seems to be a bit more than that. So I appreciate all of your perspectives!


Val, thanks for the long post--definitely will have to write down a list while I'm talk to to her (Superintendent) so I don't forget. But,
I think that by asking that question, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to look at things from all angles and then decide what's best for him now and in the long run.

In his preschool the classes are grouped according to cut off dates in your district. BUT, since they know I'm thinking about sending him to kindergarten next year, they suggested switching him to the older (4-5yr old class). This class is the one that would be going to kindergarten next year. He tried it out for a while slowly for about a week, and now just this past week was the first we he officially transitioned into that class. He loves it! The teachers say it's probably a better fit--the kids are older and intellectually a closer gap. BUT, they also say you can tell there's an issue of maturity--he's still a wiggly, goofy four yr. old. Also, his fine motor skills are a bit weak and can't quite do little things like button his jeans etc. We're wondering if this will not be an issue by the time Sept. rolls around in 8mos from now. If it's a match socially, a better fit academically, then we just have to wait and see maturity/emotionally where he's at. We are just hoping that the district give us a choice, if not then that's why we were considering private kindergarten.



Good point!


irene,
we did check out a Montessori school--wasn't a great fit. The director actually told us "I would hate to see the public school system squelch your son's enthusiasm, and would love to take him, BUT he's a bit of a live-wire and you know, we run a certain kind of program here and can't have disruptions." I'm sure there are different programs, but this one didn't seem right for him. (he got excited to see a map on the wall and ran up to look at it and was trying to show us where we live etc. Then he saw a globe and asked if he could see it, the girl responded "no" and he got really upset. I guess it was pretty disruptive etc.) Oh well!

The school where Obama's kids go in DC charges $29,000 for K. We just had this situation (cutoff 9/1, B-day 9/11) and kept our son in his preschool for a second year with the 4s-5s. He did much better behaviorally in his second year and was sort of a leader in the class, showing the new kids how things worked in the class. He started reading at 3.6 or so and was doing 100 piece puzzles at 3. he's not a 150, but very high in non-verbal. We didn't push for early entrance and DS6 is bored and complains that he doesn't learn anything. We didn't really know about the early entrance to 1st, which I think would have been the way to go. We are getting ready to push for a grade skip to second, but I think it will be harder than it would have been for early entrance to 1st. Since you mention dexterity issues, I think early entrance to 1st might be a better course. As for learning how to follow directions, etc. I would bet your preschool covers that. Hope this helps.

When I was entering kindergarten I missed the cut-off my about a month and my parents did what you are considering - paid for a year of private school.

I used to think that was a mistake - I had a lot of difficulty socially. But now I think that I would have had MORE difficulty if I'd been one of the oldest. And I was in a district with a lot of bright kids. Also - my parents were kind of clueless. I think it would have been easier on me if they hadn't dressed me funny (I'm serious).

The ONLY reason I would suggest not pushing him ahead is if he is small for his age and your family places a lot of emphasis on athletic achievement. Then it might not be the right choice.

I don't think 12k is unreasonable for private kindergarten on L.I. I realize that it's a large sum in an absolute sense, but it's not unreasonable tuition.

I have two wiggly boys and they navigate a very organized, quiet Montessori classroom and love it. I suspect the Montessori director was letting you know that YOU need to be on board with it, not that your son couldn't acclimate to it. IOW, if your environment at home is markedly different, it will be hard on him. I have found that even though my sons are required to be calm and quiet and follow classroom procedure, the Montessori philosophy of freedom within limits has been wonderful for them. I definitely don't see the negative attitude towards naturally active young boys in their school that I have seen in some other educational environments. One other thing about Montessori - there ARE different programs, but there aren't really supposed to be. AMI is what Montessori is supposed to me. A good AMS school can also be an excellent choice, but I've seen some lousy ones. Anything else makes me very suspicious. I'm guessing you were looking at an AMI school because the director had the balls to basically tell you that it was her way or the highway. That can be pretty irritating, but that's the way they are. They do it by the book. It's an educational philosophy that has worked for a lot of kids.

For kids who are doing crazy advanced stuff - like reading at age 3 - maybe Montessori, with it's insistence on mastering one "work" before advancing to the next, isn't ideal. But if your child is in that range what is ideal? We have a couple programs locally that look for 145+ I.Q.s and several children from our Montessori school have gone on to them. So I know that our Montessori school has educated other children in that range and the families have been satisfied.

I agree is a bad indication that the district is sweating 12 days in a kid with a 150 + I.Q. That's really very smart and he's going to need some special consideration.